Baltimore Evening Sun (24 December 1913): 6.

All that remains is for the Hon. William H. Anderson to pesent his lay-out of battered collection plates to the Maryland Historical Society.

A DAILY THOUGHT. I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow-creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.--Anonymous.

From the minority report of the committee at the Denver Taxpayers’ League appointed to investigate the charges of neglect of duty filed against the Hon. Ben B. Lindsey, J., the celebrated star of the Denver Juvenile Court, and Caruso of the Chautauquas:

The committee * * * found him evasive, insulting and untruthful. In a public address * * * he stated he could and would give this committee * * * receipts for from $10,000 to $25,000 * * * paid out of his own pocket for the benefit of the cause of women and children. * * * Judge Lindsey produced nothing before your committee to substantiate the above claims. He made no attempt to do so. * * *

The local suffragettes have hitherto defended Ben on the ground that all of his critics are sinful males, and most of them members of the Denver “liquor vice ring.” It will interest these man-hating old maids to learn that the minority report from which I have quoted was signed by two women--Mrs. R. E. England and Mrs. Vassie I. Replogle, both suffragists in good standing. Incidentally, it is to be noted that neither of them is a member of the Women’s Protection League, which has had the campaign against Ben in charge.

Ben’s defense is of the sort always made by moral gladiators taken with the goods. That is to say, he confines himself to making extravagant counter charges against his accusers. We of Baltimore saw this plan in full operation when the May grand jury currycombed the immoral Penz Society, and the Hon. Charles J. Bonaparte, LL. D., was among the wounded. To this day he has never made the slightest attempt to meet the jury’s criticisms frankly. Instead he has sought to obscure the issue and deceive the public by making ridiculous accusations against the jurymen, and against all other persons who object to his characteristic megalomania and mountebankery. And so wtih the Hon. William H. Anderson, who answered the evidence that he had sought to corrupt the clergy by whooping and roaring about the “liquor vice ring,” that phantasm of the caffeine-soaked imagination. And so with Ben.

Unfortunately for poor Dan, his political machine in Denver shows signs of going to pieces, and no doubt the time is not far distant when he will be able to devote his whole time, instead of but half of his time, to telling the yap Chautauquans what a great uplifter he is. The Woman’s Protective League, despite the gallant slugging of the suffragettes, is still very much alive, and the new owner of the Denver Times and the Rocky Mountain News, the Hon. Mr. Schaffer, has opened his columns to its arguments. Let me part from the subject by quoting its answer to dear Benjamin’s pathetic plea of poverty:

He draws a salary of $4,000 a year, and has always spent much time away from his duties lecturing at liberal prices. His substitute judge gets $5 a day * * * and the judge [i. e., Ben] gets the balance of the $80 a week salary. * * * His itinerary for July and August alone shows 47 Chautauqua lectures, for which he received from $150 to $200 apiece. He admits getting $5,600 for * * * “The Beast and the Jungle.” He has not denied getting $10,000 for his moving-picture rights. In 1912 he received a contribution of $5,000 from one individual, besides others. Various papers have lately collected for him over $1,500, and there have been other paid lectures and articles and contributions.

In brief, Ben makes an excellent living out of the uplift--and so do all the other uplifters. Some go roaring about the Chautauquas, others fall into fat political jobs, others are supported by wealthy clubs of moral sports, and yet others sell pornographic books. How long are the American people going to stand this game?

Pecksniffian New Year proclamation by the syndics of the Anti-Saloon League:

As we enter upon the new year, let us do so with the lofty purpose of encouraging the right, while resisting the wrong.

Specimens of the “right,” as defined by these amusing mountebanks: to tempt the friars minor to graft upon their deacons, to put a premium upon deliberate lying by candidates for office, to foist upon the people such political scaramouches as the Hon. Tom Parran and the Hon. Isaac Lobe Straus, to fill school children with imbecile rot about the alleged effects of alcohol, to bear false witness against honest men, to stir up costly and useless turmoil in peaceful communities, to degrade and debase the Christian religion, to make the very angels of Heaven weep.

From the annual report of the board of directors of the Maryland Penitentiary, just issued:

We repeat our expression of commendation of former Warden John F. Weyler as being a faithful public official who was for more than a score of years at the head of the penitentiary, and who made there a record into every nook and corner of which the [Goldsborough Penal] Commission has directed its searchlight without discovering anything blameworthy other than a few acts of thoughtless impropriety.

Immoral stuff! Can it be that the Penitentiary Board is made up entirely of members of the “liquor-vice ring?” Answer: Nay. One of its members is the Hon. John T. Stone, chairman of “The World in Baltimore” and an eminent prohibitionist and Sunday-schoolist, and another is the Hon. Frank A. Furst, the municipal Santa Claus!

New novel that you may read without any serious loss of self-respect:

“Round the Corner,” by Gilbert Cannan. (Appleton.)

The deacons in the cage are putting a brave face upon it, but deep down in their hearts they know that they are afraid. In the past the Hon. William H. Anderson has done all of their fighting for them, and in particular, taken all of their wallops. But now they must go into the arena themselves, naked and unarmored, and face the murderous fire of the legislative slapsticks and seltzer siphons. Sweet sport, my masters! A darn good show for us vulgarians!

Books that will not insult a civilized friend:

“A Traveler at Forty,” by Theodore Dreiser. (Century Co.) “The Renaissance,” by Arthur, Count Gobineau; introduction by Dr. Oscar Levy. (Putnam.)