Baltimore Evening Sun (2 December 1913): 6.

THE FREE LANCE

Balance sheet of the Sunpaper-super-Mahon Christmas tree fund:

Needed for expenses $5,000.00 Collected to date 2,748.57 Amount yet to be collected $2,251.43 Days remaining 22 Amount to be collected each day $102.33 Amount collected yesterday 7.48


The estimable Democratic Telegram of this week makes its front page magnificent with a large oil painting of Mr. Speaker Trippe, LL. B., and within is a brief article on his life and times. During the coming session of te LEgislature, I hear, the Hon. Mr. Trippe will specialize in whited sepulchres, and many of the old deacons are already talking of long holidays in Europe. For the rest, the Democratic Telegram heaps scorn upon the initiative and referendum, pleads eloquently for home rule for Baltimore, and praises the virtue and sagacity of the Hon. Frank A. Munsey, author of “The Boy Pirates of the Hudson,” thus rewarding him for certain very valuable services to the Hon. D’Harry.


A DAILY THOUGHT. To give alms is nothing unless you give thought also.–The Hon. J. M. Jamison.


My advice to all those gentlemen who now boast in the kaifs about the “defeat” of the Hon. William H. Anderson and the “collapse” of malignant morality is that they fasten cakes of ice to their heads and endeavor to think again. The “defeat” of the Hon. Mr. Anderson is little more than an enchanting appearnce; the “collapse” of malignant morality is a preparation for new and greater campaigns. In brief, I am strongly of the opinion that all the worst excesses of the New Puritanism are yet to come, and to that view I pledge my life, my fortune and my sacred honor.


Not, of course, that the American people, or even a respectable minority of them, have been converted to the balderdash that the archangels intone. Far from it, indeed. I believe that public opinion in Baltimore is at least two-thirds against the Hon. Mr. Anderson–not against temperance, mind you, but against the Andersonian principle that every man who drinks alcohol is a rogue and vagabond, and every man who sells it a scoundrel. And in the case of the Hon. Charles J. Bonaparte, LL. D., the adverse majority is probably vastly greater. I have yet to meet a single man, indeed, who professes adherence to the Hon. Mr. Bonaparte’s flapdoodle on the subject of the social evil. Even among the extreme foes of segregation there are probably persons who regard the hon. gent.’s information with suspicion and his arguments with scorn.


But despite all this distrust of the concrete moralist--and it extends to such undoubtedly honest men as Dr. Howard A. Kelly and the Rev. Dr. Heisse–and of the whole scheme of purification by the sword, there remain two massive facts in favor of the sin hounds. One is the fact that the grat majority of Americans are always in favor of a rough-house, no matter who or what its victim. And the other is the fact that they have far too little moral courage to stand up against a furious frontal attack, even when they doubt its honesty and despise its whoopers.


“More than any other people,” said Wendell Phillips, “we Americans fear one another.” A true saying, and amply corroborated every time a new chase of sinners is started. However imbecile and dangerous such a chase may be, the average American is afraid to oppose it. He fears the personal accusation, the direct attack; so powerful is his hypocrisy that he cannot bear to face any charge of lack of virtue, no matter how obvious its injustice. It is, indeed, not virtue itself that he reverences, but merely the appearance of it. He would much rather have a good reputation than be a good man. And such is his savage delight in the sports of the arena, his yearning to see someone jump, that he would far rather see an innocent man do the jumping than no man at all.


Thus the malignant moralists tap two national weaknesses, and are doubtly armored against opposition. Say what you will about them, they at least give good shows. They keep the griddle hot. They snare a fresh batch of victims every day. And denounce their unfairness as much as you will, you must yet admit the soundness and effectiveness of their tedhnique. They know how to knock down opposition; they see clearly the crack in the armor of their foes; given a fair field, they always win in the end.


Wherefore, and by reason of which, I do not regard the temporary convulsions of the Hon. Mr. Anderson with much rejoicing, nor do I believe that common sense will prevail over the Bonapartes, the Pentzes and the Leverings. The current revival of Puritanism is still a mere pup. Wait until it gets its growth! Wait until it sprouts its teeth! Here in Baltimore I look for prohibition within five years and a war upon bibing that will shake the town. And the moment Dr. Goldsborough’s Vice Commission brings in its report there will follow a vice crusade so ferocious that it will make the oldest moralists young again. Don’t talk of victory, montsewers! The worst is yet to come!


The Hon. James McEvoy, LL. B., president-designate of the Board of Police Commissioners:

I am willing to hear suggestions.

Suggestion No. 7: Don’t let professional sinner-scorchers browbeat you. They make the same threats against every public official who refuses to jump as they pipe. The Hon. Charles J. Bonaparte, LL. D., has even talked of impeaching the Supreme Bench because, forsooth, it has refused to take its law from the defender of Perkins and Sulzer! Don’t pay any attention to this gentleman, nor to any of his hirelings. Whenever one of the latter comes to you with a snouting proposal ask yourself how much he would lose, in hard cash, by minding his business. Be suspicious of all moralists who get either free advertising or actual money out of their chase of sinners. And be equally suspicious of the moral sportsmen who finance the fight.

How prohibition works in Columbia, S. C., as described by the estimable Columbia State:

The open barroom is here. One may find in Columbia, without exploring the obscure sections of the city, much the same gay life that one would discover in New York --the wine, the women and the song * * * Except as to the number of its barrooms, whiskey traffic conditions in Columbia are not better than in Charleston or Savannah. The barrooms are open.

Incidentally, let it be noted that the State is a vigorous advocate of enforcing the prohibition law, and that the editorial from which I have quoted is a plea for such enforcement.