Baltimore Evening Sun (24 November 1913): 6.

THE FREE LANCE

Certainly no one who enjoyed acquaintance with Mrs. Bertha Rayner Frank, who died Saturday, failed to get pleasure and stimulation out of the society of that truly extraordinary woman. An invalid for many years, she never allowed physical disability to interfere with her varied and useful occupations not to dull her keen zest in life. I know of no one who was more determined to do good in the world, and no one who got more satisfaction out of doing it. She was very charitable, but by no means a sentimentalist. Her sharp intelligence was always alert for trends; she had a lively and devastating sense of humor. It was a high privilege to spend an hour with her, listening to her penetrating observations upon men and ideas and her extremely interesting reminiscences of a long and active life. In a town of drab people, all mouthing the fashionable platitudes, hers was an outstanding and attractive personality. She will be missed.

A DAILY THOUGHT. The thing that counts in charitable work is pulling people out of their poverty and placing them so that they can stay out.--Gen. William Booth.


Next the annual powwow and sinner-bake of the Lord’s Day Alliance! It will begin on Monday, December 1, with a series of ward meetings, and culminate on December 5 with a “song service,” led by the Hon. Dashing Harry! Fact! If you don’t believe me, call up the Rev. Dr. W. W. Davis (Homewood 624f) and ask him if I lie. Among the other great virtuosi of virtue on the program are Dr. Goldsborough and the Hon. Morris A. Soper, C. J.-elect. The Doctor, I suppose, will tell of the charms of Sunday on the Eastern Shore, and the Hon. Mr. Soper, let us hope, will outline his plans for uplirfing the Supreme Bench, a body sadly in need of moral manicuring. Incidentally, I note that the Rev. Dr. T. T. Mutchler, a moralist hitherto unknown to me, will give “Lord’s Day clinics” on three successive days. What these “clinics” may be I don’t know, but they have an attractive, sanguinary sound, and promise very good sport.


The Hon. James McEvoy, president-elect of the Police Board:

I am willing to hear suggestions.

Suggestion No. 3: Don’t be alarmed by the whooping and snorting of the Hon. Charles J. Bonaparte, LL. D. No one takes him seriously. He is the same Bonaparte who once talked of impeaching the Supreme Bench, and the same who was discreetly merciful to the Harvester Trust, and the same who heaped ridicule upon the public schools, and the same who has “reasonable doubts”that the Hon. Martyr Sulzer is a rogue.

The Hon. William H. Anderson in the American Issue:

The Free Lance could not by any stretch of the imagination be considered a friend of local option.

Oh, la, la! Isn’t a mother the friend of the child she lays over her knee? Isn’t a coroner the true friend of the gentleman he attends?

Whenever the Hon. Lloyd Wilkinson thinks of that debate with the Hon. William H. Anderson, he jumps into the air, cracks his heels together and spits upon his hands. Wait for the big show!

Hope on, dear hearts! We are girding on our scimitars! The moment the Legislature meets, relief-ships laden with Pilsner and 10-year-old rye will start for the Eastern Shore! Near-beer is doomed; wood alcohol must die the death! Grit your teeth and hold out two months longer! Succor is at hand!--Liquor Ring Adv.

Meanwhile, may a sinner be permitted to wonder why the Rev. Dr. Kenneth G. Murray is so stingy with the glad tidings he heard at the Purity Congress? The Letter Column still yawns for hot stuff.

Advice to the suffragettes: Let the poor girls of the Tenderloin alone for a while, and devote yourselves to stirring up the antis. The more the antis argue their case, the more converts they make to the suffrage. Keep them going, and they will win the fight for you.

The estimable Democratic Telegram of this week fills its front page with a crayon portrait of the Hon. Dan Loden, K. T., a man whose likeness would do honor to any paper, including even the War Cry. On page 4 it greases him agreeably, but not excessively. I delight in seconding the motion. Would that all politicians were as virtuous as Dan! In addition, the Telegram gives a dig to the Hob. Virtorine Huerta, announces that the Hon. Sunday-school Field will cut a wide swath at Annapolis, points out the fallacies of the direct legislation balderdash, and confuses the cure of cancer with the prevention of cancer--two very different things. The Telegram gets better week by week. Its one rival in liveliness is the Maryland Suffrage News.

All that remained, to make the Hon. William H. Anderson a genuine martyr, was for the Talbot county grand jury to object to his methods. He is now one with Pentz, Bonaparte, Levering, Soper and Niles. Measure him for his halo! Robe him in his snow-white chemise!

According to the Sunpaper, Saturday’s receipts for the community Christmas tree came to $1.75 and those of yesterday to $6. Could anything prove more eloquently that the people of Baltimore are tired of this sentimental scheme, not to say suspicious of it? With but three weeks remaining to collect money, the fund is $2,500 short. This means that more than $100 a day must be collected. Look at the actual receipts!

How prohibition prohibits in Greensboro, N. C., as revealed by a Greensboro dispatch to the Raleigh Times of November 19:

During the first 14 days of this month 2,258 gallons of whisky alone came to Greensboro by express. The greatest amount received on any one day was on November 12, when 218 gallons came in. The smallest shipment in one day was 70 gallons. The average was 161.28. It has been figured out that if the liquor cost only an average of $3 a gallon, the whisky drinkers of Greensboro have spent $483.74 daily, or a total for the 14 days of $6,774.

This works out to $176,124 a year. The population of Greensboro is 15,895. If the same rate of drinking were maintained in wet Baltimore, our bill for whisky alone would be $6,516,588 a year.

Wait until the old-fashioned Legislature begins investigating the Pentz Society! Rich, racy, instructive entertainment! Don’t make any other engagement!

Meanwhile, Archdeacon Wegg, of Havre de Grace, is rewriting Baxter’s “Saints’ Rest” to make it fit the equine uplift.