Baltimore Evening Sun (22 November 1913): 6.

The Hon. James McEvoy, president-elect of the moral Police Board:

I am willing to hear suggestions.

Suggestion No. 2: Don’t let the police force be used as an advertising agency by professional sinner-scorchers who make a good living out of the trade.

The fundamental principle of Mohammedanism, as stated by the founder of the faith and reported by the Rev. Carlton D. Harris, D. D., in the current Baltimore Southern Methodist:

Different prophets were sent forth by God to illustrate His different attributes—Moses, his clemency and providence; Solomon, his majesty, wisdom and glory; Jesus Christ, His righteousness, omniscience and power. * * * None of these, however, have been sufficient to enforce conviction. Even the miracles of Moses and Jesus were treated with unbeslief. I, therefore, am the last of the prophets, and am sent with a sword. Let those who propagate my faith enter into no argument nor discussion, but slay all who refuse obedience to the law.

Such is Mohammedanism. Will Dr. Harsris now explain how it differs, if at all, from the ferocious and blood-letting “Christianity” now preached in Baltimore by the amateur torqemadas of the so-called “moral element”? Which prophet does the Anti-Saloon League follow, Mohammed or the Nazarene? And the Pentz Society? And the snouting Lord’s Day Alliance? Which is the patron of the vice crusade?

Annapolis dispatch to the estimable Sunpaper:

Robert Early pleaded guilty of manslaughter today and Judge Brashears fined him $75. The fine was paid and Early was discharged.

This, however, is not the record. On at least two occasions, here in Baltimore, gentlemen convicted of killing other gentlemen have been fined ten cents. But that was some time ago. The cost of living is now going up.

The following model and bulletproof divorce law has been prepared by learned counsel and will be introduced in the Legislature during the first week of the coming session:

AN ACT to repeal Section 36 of Article 16 of the Code of Public General Laws of Maryland, entitled “Chancery,” subtitle “Divorce,” and to re-enact the said section with amendments.

Section 1. Be it enacted by the General Assembly of Maryland, That Section 36 of Article 16 of the Code of Public General Laws, entitled “Chancery,” subtitle “Divorce,” be and the same is hereby repealed and re-enacted so as to read as follows:

36. Upon the hearing of any bill for a divorce, the Court may decree a divorce a vinculo matrimonii whenever it shall be established, by competent testimony, that the parties to the action have lived apart, and not as man and wife, for a continuous period of at least three years next preceding the date of the application for such divorce, whether by the wish and act of one party alone or of both of them.

36a. No other cause or causes shall be sufficient for the grant of a divorce a vinculo matrimonii, nor shall it be lawful for any court of equity or referee, in the course of ahearing as to the conduct of either of the parties, either before or during the period of separation provided for in Section 36, nor any evidence as to the financial arrangements or transactions between the parties before or during the said period of separation, nor any other evidence tending to explain or account for the said separation or the causes thereof.

36b. After a divorce a vinculo matrimonii has been granted by the terms of Section 36 and 36a. of this Article, it shall be unlawful for tierh party to the action, whether plaintiff or defendant, to marry either the other party or any other persons during the period of three years next following.

36c. Nothing in this Act shall be interpreted as repealing or amending Sections 14 and 15 of Articles 16 of the Public General Laws, entitled “Chancery,” subtitle “Alimony,” or Sections 35, 36, 38 and 39 of Article 16 of the Public General laws, entitled “Chancery,” subtitle “Divorce.” Section 2. And be it further enacted, That this Act shall take effect from the date of its passage.

The merits of this proposed act are too patent to need argumentative support. It puts an end, once and for all time, to scandalmongering by the newspapers. It wipes out all temptation to that deliberate and degrading infidelity which now figures so largely in 80 per cent. of all divorce cases. It destroys all necessity for collusion and perjury. And more important still, it discourages the growing habit of getting a divorce for the mere purpose of marrying some other fellow. This other fellow will not wait three years. And even if he is actually willing, the lady will not believe it.

Curious paid advertisement in this morning’s Sunpaper:

HATS OFF TO H. L. MENCKEN. He is entitled to 99.99% of the credit for driving the Psalm Singers out of Baltimore. 622 Mp CHARLES B. BERRY

Thanks, dear sir, for them kind words—but aren’t you embalming the corpse before it has ceased to groan? If by Psalm Singers, you mean the moral colossi of the Anti-Saloon League, then let me assure you sorrowfully that they are still very much alive. The Hon. Young Cochran is not busted yet, you bet. He has still enough of the mazuma to choke a rhinoceros, and he is still eager to ram it down the esophagus of the Rum Demon. And so long as he provides the material there will be plenty of expert rammers to do the actual ramming.

No, moral endeavor is not dead. It was never, in fact, more flourishing. For every moral winkinski whp combed the Sunday-schools 10 years ago, there are now five or six. The town swarms with them; I myself have been shaken down by some of them. And all the so-called moral organizations are in fine condition. For example, the Pentz Society. The prospect of a legislative investigation does not daunt it. It has the Police Board under its thumb, and the moment the report of the Vice Commission is published it will proceed to a campaign of snouting and sinner-scorching perhaps unequaled in human history.

No, no, dear friend. Don’t cherish the delusion that the Puritanical roughhouse is at an end. Far from it, indeed! The big show is just beginning. The clowns now in the ring are mere apprentices. Wait for the triumphal entry of the true professors, the grand bouncing in of the genuinely elect!

Despite the pathetic rubbish that the Sunpaper is printing about it, the Community Christmas Tree seems to be dying on its legs. Ths money is coming in by the nickel and dime; this morning the Sunpaper solemnly acknowledged a contribution of one cent! After four or five weeks of ardent campaigning, during which thousands of dollars’ worth of space has been wasted and the public has been bored with machine-made sentimentality, less than half of the money needed for the tree has been collected. Why not acknowledge failure and abandon the enterprise? Why go on annoying the people of Baltimore with a scheme in which they have no interest, and regarding the bona fides of which they have grave doubts?