Baltimore Evening Sun (13 May 1913): 6.

From a bulletin issued by the press agent of the “Vivisection Investigation League,” of New York:

In spite of the fact that the Pasteur treatment has been widely adopted by French physicians, the death rate from hydrophobia is increasing, a meagre result when the enormous sacrifice of animal life required for the making of the serum is considered. The Pasteur Institute in Paris alone uses annually no less than 600 monkeys, 400 dogs, 100 horses, 100 cats, 25,000 guinea pigs, 1,500 rabbits, 10,000 rats, 20,000 mice, 300 pigeons, 60 goats and 50 pigs.

A typical example of anti-vivisectionist misrepresentation. Notice the direct statement that all of these animals are “required for the making of the serum.” As a matter of fact, the only animal used for the “making of the serum” is the rabbit--and, if the figures given are accurate, the Pasteur Institute uses but 1,500 rabbits a year. How many patients are now treated each year I don’t know, but so long ago as 1896 the number was 1,520. Of this number, all save two recovered. In the case of 122 of the patients, there wall absolute assurance that the animals which bit them were mad, for injections from the spinal cords of those animals produced rabies in other animals. All of these patients recovered. In the case of 949 patients, competent veterinarians had pronounced the attacking animals mad. All save two of these patients recovered. Thus no less than 1,069 human lives were saved by the sacrifice of a thousand or two rabbits.

It is curious to note that the “Vivisection Investigation League” is convinced that “hydrophobia in France is increasing.” This is a direct violation of the usual anti-vivisectionist practice of denying that such a disease as hydrophobia exists. The Maryland Anti-Vivisection Society falls into the same unorthodox imprudence. In a leaflet which it distributes among the ignorant, it specifically admits that hydrophobia exists--but argues that it may be cured by vapor baths, barley water and cream of tartar! This, of course, is idiotic nonsense. Hydrophobia cannot be cured by anything, not even by the Pasteur vaccine. It may be prevented by the vaccine, but nothing in the world will cure it, once its principal symptoms have shown themselves. And yet the Maryland Anti-Vivisection Society assures ignorant folk that vapor baths and cream of tartar will cure it--even on “the third day * * * of hydrophobic symptoms.” Certainly, no more cruel piece of imposture could be imagined. Every infected person who follows this imbecile advice is sure to die in great agony.

The “Vivisection Investigation League” is making much capital out of the recent performances of Dr. F. F. Friedmann. In the same circular I have quoted above it seeks to make it appear that Friedmann’s alleged turtle serum is a blood brother to the diphtheria antitoxin, the hydrophobia vaccine and other such invaluable remedial agents. Nothing, of course, could be further from the truth. No one save Friedmann knows the process of making his serum, and so far as I am aware no reputable physician has ever indorsed it. On the contrary. the medical profession in both Europe and America has specifically refused to indorse it. But now these singular witnesses seek to make the medical profession responsible for it, and to use its apparent failure as an argument against the undoubted success of other and well-tried remedies.

All this, of course, does not surprise the student of anti-vivisectionist balderdash. It is the constant effort of all anti-vivisectionists to destroy public confidence in the medical profession. They weep for the vivisected guinea pig only incidentally: their main business is always to vivisect the doctor. And the animus behind their propaganda, despite their assiduous endeavors to conceal it, is usually plain enough. Scratch an anti-vivisectionist and you will find, three times out of four, a Christian Scientist--and if not a Christian Scientist, then some other ignorant victim of grafters and quacks.

The ethics of the chemically pure are well displayed in a letter signed “Algol” in today’s Letter Column. The author of this ingenious epistle claims the right to abuse me publicly, and by name, but insists that my public answer be addressed to a nonsensical nom de plume. Such is the practical working of malignant morality in fifth-rate men. As for me, I prefer the less discreet ethics of shoplifters and prostitutes.

Four-fifths of the courage of these virtuous bravos of the Letter Column lies in their anonymity. Very lately, by a lamentable piece of- chicanery, I inveighled one of them into signing his real name. This daredevil had been ladling out the most violent abuse, under his nom de plume, for two or three years, and taking the return fire with vast valor, but the moment he had to take it in propria persona he loosed a yell and galloped from the scene. Put such a gladiator beside such a man as the Hon. William H. Anderson, who does his murdering like a man, and you have put a wart beside Ossa.

From the Hot Towel’s formal acknowledgment of the Hon. Isaac Lobe Straus’ eight- column advertisement:

Straus will loom up as the real Democratic leader in the State.

What! Can this be treason to Dashing Harry? Isn’t it a fact that Harry became perpetual leader when he was nominated for the Vice-Presidency unanimously? What has he done to lose the honor? Why should the Towel set up rivals and pretenders against him?

Meanwhile, however, there is no disguising the strength of the Hon. Isaac Don Carlos. His sponsors are the Hot Towel and the Hon. William H. Anderson. With such support, he must needs make an irresistible appeal to every good Democrat.

The Hon. William H. Anderson in the American Issue:

The paving scandal seems to be getting worse.

With the utmost veneration and reluctance, pooh, pooh! The paving scandal is not “getting worse.” It has passed the crisis. It is now in the stage of amelioration and convalescence. Learned jurisconsults arrange a truce of God. Sunday-school superintendents meet in council upon it, swapping alibis and nol proses. The Hon. Paving Bob is being fumigated, anointed, robed in a martyr’s chemise. Anon he will come back.

A special section of the Hot Towel’s Book of Worthies will be devoted to eminent Sunday-school superintendents; and there will be special memoirs of the super-Mahon, S. S. Field and McCay McCoy.--Adv.

Say what you will against Paving Bob, anyhow he signed the Harry petition.--Adv.