Baltimore Evening Sun (17 April 1913): 6.

Who is the king of morality in Baltimore? Who is the Saudow of baltimoralists? Who can claim the biscuit, the silver badge, the radium halo and the Richad K. Fox belt? Watch this space for his name!

Look out for Anderson, gents! Once he has landed Dr. Goldsborough, he will put over another one! Stop! Look! Listen!

From the report of an address by the Hon. Omar F. Hershey, LL. B., in the Johns Hopkins Alumni Magazine for March:

The philosopher Nietsche * * * * the Nietschean formula of functioning * * * * the Nietschean ideal appeals to me. * * * which so appealed to Nietsche * * Nietsche’s lamest was that * * * this ideal which Nietsche condemned * * * * the * * * Nietschean idea of a university * * *

Excellent doctrine, but who the deuce was Nietsche? Can it be that the Hon. Mr. Hershey and the editors of the Alumni Magazine have reference to Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche? If so, then why do they disenzee him? Why this sanguinary umbilicotomy upon his name, seven times done? Why rob him of the one letter that hooked him firmly to his mythical Polish forebears, so comforting to him in his premature senility?

But let not these erring gentlemen yield to a too quick remorse. The name of Nietzsche is not spelled correctly in America once in 10,000 times. The New York Evening Post makes it Nietsche nine times out of ten, and the Boston Evening Transcript oscillates between that and Nietzshe. Other favorite forms are Neitzshe, Nitzsche, Nietssche, Nietzche and Nietzske. And in the women’s clubs, so I hear, the name is always pronounced either Nittsy or Neatsky.

Let me direct the attention of all these local moralists who have been taken in by the mountebankish vice crusade of the Hon. Barratt O’Hara, author of “Frorn Figg to Johnson,” and in particular by his “proofs” that the virtue of shopgirls has its price--let me direct the attention of all such persons to an article entitled “Poverty and Vice,” on page 314 of the Christian Register for April 3. A few weeks ago I made mention of a similar article in America, the well-known Catholic weekly. The Christian Register is the spokesman of the extreme wing of Protestantism. But both it and America come to the same conclusion on this vexed subject. Both agree that the peruras now preached with such bellowing are bogus and preposterous. Both view with bilious suspicion all the current cavorting of brummagem “experts” and self-consecrated vice crusaders,

Incidentally, there is another article in the same issue of the Register which deserves a careful reading. It is entitled “Jesus and Pleasures.” Let me commend it, without comment, to those local virtuosi of virtue who devote their lives to denouncing, as lewd and abhorrent, the simple recreations (so pitifully few!) of poor folk. And in particular to those who seek to back up their snouting and reviling with the policeman’s club.

From the esteemed Towel’s report of the annual meeting of the suffragettes:

There was a moment of merriment during the report reading when * * * the organizing secretary * * * declared that the Talbot County League for Suffrage had recently become an anti suffrage organization.

Thus Nero fiddled and guffawed as Rome burned down. Thus Dr. Harvey Hawley Crippen snickered as the fatal noose caressed his Adam’s apple. Thus boozy bachelors larf at weddings.

How prohibition works in Bangor, Maine, after 62 years of trial, as described in the New York World of April 11, page 10, column 1:

Woodsmen are pouring into the town in hundreds, each with a wad of money to be quickly spent, and business is brisk along Exchange street. The 119 bars have plenty of whisky and other stimulants and life in this down east metropolis goes on like one grand picture show. * * * Whatever may be the emotions of Mrs. L. M. Stevens, or whatever the motives and expectations of Governor Haines, nearly everybody else is rejoiced at the spectacle of a Republican Legislature preparing at the Governor’s behest to overhaul sheriffs, Republican and Democratic, who have not closed all the saloons in their counties. It is said that in this sudden and unexpected crusade against the rum demon Governor Haines is inspired not so much by the desire to back up the one prohibition speech he made in his campaign last year as to make himself solid with the country voters and head off the boom of State Senator Carl E. Milliken, of Island Falls. * * * They are going to bring Sheriff Emerson, of Ponobscot county, before the bar of the legislature next Tuesday and invite him to show cause why he should not be removed from the office to which the Republicans elected him last year. Sheriff Emerson has made a better bluff in enforcing the Liquor law than any of his predecessors in office since the days of the mighty prohibitionist, Simon G. Jerrard, way back in 1877. But this appears not to satisfy the ramrodders and they have complained to the Governor * * * that, although Sheriff Emerson has made 60 or 70 seizures of liquor in the three months since he assumed office, this has had no effect to stem the tide of whisky in Bangor, and he is to be raked over the coals for not drying the town up, something that no Sheriff has ever been able to do.

Bangor has a population of 24,803. With 119 open blind pigs it thus has one to every 203 of population. At that rate, Baltimore, under prohibition, would have more than 2,200. The Anti- Saloon League rabble-rousers constantly plead that it takes time to clean up a dry town; that the present hoggishness of such places as Atlanta, Savannah and Mobile is only temporary; that virtue will prevail in the end. Well, it has had since 1851 to prevatil in Bangor and at the end of 62 years there are still 119 blind pigs in the town. The one genuine effect of prohibition, as you will observe, is to make liquor the principle issue in politics--and turn.even the Governor of the State into a low comedy mountebank. This is what the pious Anti-Saloon League plans to give us here in Maryland.

Dr. C. S. Carr, of Cincinnati, in Health for May:

Let no man deceive himself. If he is in the habit of using coffee * * * every day, he is just as much of an inebriate as a man who uses beer every day. There is no material difference between them whatever. If one is irreligious, the other is irreligious. * * * It is the sheerest sophistry for the * * * coffee drinker to condemn the beer drinker. They belong to the same class. They are in the same category. They are both dope fiends. * * *

Respectfully referred to the Hon. Eugene Levering, gladiator of chemical purity--and coffee milllionaire.

A colytic cigar to the Rev. Dr. W. W. Davis for any evidence that Sunday concerts in Baltimore would encourage debauchery.