Baltimore Evening Sun (4 April 1913): 6.

In the City Hall alone, more than 8,000 signatures to the Harry petition have been obtained. Col. Jacobus Hook and a prominent street cleaner are tied for first place. Each has signed 216 times.

Expert testimony of the Hon. Jack Read, an Atlanta blind pig operator, as reported by the Atlanta Constitution of March 31, page 9:

Chief, there must be 10,000 of ’em. There ain’t no money in selling whisky any more, just on account of that. If I could make $100 a week selling whisky, like the tigers once could in Atlanta, I’d go to the stockade and stay there happy until I got enough saved up to live on. But you can’t make $100 a month now, so I’m going to a new town.

In brief, the blind pig business is so easy in “dry” Atlanta that thousands of eager gentlemen have rushed into it, to the great loss and damage of the professions who set up shop when Georgia went “dry.”

The Hon. Henry Schoenewolf will attend the Concord Club’s bal masque wearing the slat-bonnet and carrying the high-power telescope of a village moralist. The Hon. John Walter Smith will appear as a rescuer of the erring.--Adv.

Why doesn’t the pious United Railways run special express care to Bay Shore in summer, and so copper a few extra nickels from those who like decent comfort, and are willing to pay for it? Bay Shore is the best of all our suburban parks, and by long odds. It is clean, cool and orderly. It faces a broad sweep of open bay, it has an excellent bathing beach, a fine now pier, a shady grove of trees. Most important of all, it has a bright and appetizing dining room, wherein very fair meals are served at moderate prices--the only such dining room, so far as I know, between the head of the bay and Old Point Comfort.

But the journey to Bay Shore by trolley is usually an extremely unpleasant adventure, and thousands of Baltimoreans, I daresay, stay away for no other reason. The crowd that travels between dry Sparrows Point and wet Highlandtown, particularly on Saturday evenings, is far from soothing to the sensitive nose. On the contrary, it is unutterably smelly and unpleasant, both on its white side and on its black, and that unpleasantness is not diminished by its democratic yearning to crowd closely. Add the bibuli from the fishing shores, and there is little room left for travelers in search of rest and fresh air.

Why not get around the difficulty by running through cars from the centre of the city to the park--cars which close their gates after passing the City Hall? And why not run enough of them to give every passenger a seat? An extra expense, true enough--but wouldn’t it be possible to get an extra fare? The present round-trip fare to Bay Share is 30 cents. Are there not hundreds of Baltimoreans who will willingly pay 20 cents more for reasonable cleanliness and decency?

These through cars would not interfere with the regular service. The company could still continue its profitable hauling of the liquorish and unwashed. It could still carry fish baskets, bags of crabs and the carcasses of drunks killed along the line. But the new service, I believe, would attract a host of persons who are now kept away by a disinclination to travel in cattle cars–a host of persons who would patronize Bay Shore steadily if it were not for the terrors of the trip. And these persons, paying extra fares to get there, would very probably spend something on their arrival. In brief, they would greatly increase the the prosperity of the park, which has been rather a failure heretofore despite its undoubted attractions.

I offer this suggestion to the United Railways with no hope of reward, but solely out of a selfish desire to see more of Bay Shore in summer. It is a cleanly and delightful breathing spot; it is patronized by an orderly and civilized class of people; it offers, as I have said, a range of victualry that satisfies without debauching. But I tire of making the trip like a sardine in a box--and with most of the other sardines somewhat spoiled.

Boil your drinking water! Down with the kaif! Help Goucher!

The boomers! The boomers! They’re at it yet, by golly! Oh, let me have the coffee pot to ease my melancholy!

The estimable Pocomoke City Ledger-Enterprise reprints with mocking my.late account of the Hon. George A. Frick’s tour of the Eastern Shore in the interest of the super-Mahon, and of the stupendous enthusiasm for that great martyr he there encountered. It continues:

We are amazed at the fact that so important an unknown celebrity should have appeared and sojourned in our midst, with such marked distinction and result, without having come to our knowledge and given appropriate notice to our columns.

And yet it actually happened, while the editor of the Ledger-Enterprise went on snoring in his sanctum, or perchance gaped hypnotically at the music of same traveling corn-doctor or osteopath. In the Democratic Telegram of this week the Hon. Mr. Frick not only confirms the accuracy of my report, but even praises me for it. Says he:

As a seer, the Free Lance cannot be surpassed, and as a hoarer he is equaled only by his superlative excellence as a seer. Across the Chesapeake, he hears the playing of the bands and the huzzahs of the people and knows the thoughts and emotions that are welling up from within. * * * He tells us what the people think of the man they love (i. e., the super-Mahon), and he has the situation sized up about right.

Let the Ledger-Enterprise snore on. But on primary day it will be awakened by a shout like the discharge of 10,000 12-inch guns, even like the discharge of 10,000 blubber-guns. When it learns that the super-Mahon has been nominated unanimously, as he was for the Vice-Presidency, it will know at last how vastly the common people venerate that superb being.

The boomers! The boomers! Their music charms the ear! Alas, we hear no more about the Hon. Henry Schoenewolf!

Standing of the clubs in the National Tuberculosis League, for the week ended March 6:

New York......................423 Philadelphia.......................341 Baltimore......................376 Boston................................295 Chicago..........................374 Pittsburgh...........................260 St. Louis.........................349 Cleveland...........................214

Boil your drinking water! Cover your garbage can! Throw out the lifeline! Cherchez la femme!

Oh, let me like a boomer fall, upon some liquorish field!