Baltimore Evening Sun (21 March 1913): 6.

Preposterous allegation of the bloodthirsty Maryland Suffrage News:

Being somewhat familiar with The Sun’s policy toward Baltimore institutions, enterprises and individuals, we have noted that the Free Lance follows its general curves, though at a respectful distance. * * *

A gratuitous libel, entirely without merit. Very few of the “institutions, enterprises and individuals” supported by The Sun seem to me to be worthy, or even moral. I am too busy today to compile a complete list, but a good many suggest themselves at once. Here, for instance, are some of the things which The Sun advocates, but which seem to me, and to hundreds of other highly respectable persons, to be wholly abhorrent and immoral:

The direct primary. Universal manhood suffrage. The initiative and referendum. Charity. “The Star-Spangled Banner.” “Maryland, My Maryland.” Baseball. The Public Service Commission. Respect for the courts. Prudery. Foreign missions. The Declaration of Independence. The Constitution of the United States. Boomery. The commission form of government. Blue laws. Progressivism in all its forms. Political parties. Patent medicine advertisements. The Factory Site Commission. The Hon. Woodrow Wilson. Moralists. Public schools. The Merchants’ and Manufacturers’ Association. The theory that starvation fosters genius. The theory that the common people are honest. The Monroe doctrine. Marriage. Goucherism. Pensions. Eugenics. Patriotism.

And here, on the other hand, are some things that are very dear to me, but which The Sun attacks with all its talent for reviling:

Women’s suffrage. Free speech, utter and absolute. The disfranchisement of all job-holders, Federal, State and municipal. Celibacy. All harmless devices for making life more bearable, however obnoxious to persons who hate their fellow-men. Rigid educational and property tests for the franchise. Life terms for all public officials, subject to the usual limitations regarding superannuation and good behavior. The doctrine of natural selection. The Hon. the Archangel Harry. Cocaine. The Continental Sunday. Bribery as a means of denaturizing democracy. Eating with the knife. The Hon. Charles J. Bonaparte. Suicide.

Just why the Hon. William H. Anderson has set himself so bitterly against the anti- cigarette campaign I do not know. I can only guess, wink, snicker and deplore. The ways of great moralists are devious and mysterious. The Towson Union and News, for all its bellowing against Back River, refuses to join the Anti-Saloon League. The anti-vivisectionists sneer at eugenics--that affecting science. The Police Board, caressing the vice crusade with one hand, heaves a cobblestone at the Rev. Dr. W. W. Davis, of the Lord’s Day Alliance, with the other. The Hon. Eugene Levering, hot upon the trail of the rum-sellers, is silent about the sellers of other drugs. And so it goes. Militant morality breeds specialists. The general practitioner, the old-time family doctor of virtue, grows scarce and seedy.

Meanwhile, I have received from Dr. Charles L. Hamilton, superintendent of the Illinois Keeley Institute, vice-president of the Illinois State Sunday-School Association and a high authority upon drug addictions, the following clear statement that the cigarette is the father and mother of alcoholism:

The constant irritation of the membranes by the inhaled smoke causes various catarrhal troubles, and the vitiated blood brings about great irritability of the nerve cells and malnutrition. It is this irritable condition of the nervous system that causes the restlessness, inability to concentrate thought, tremor, etc., which are so apt to cause the cigarette addict to seek relief, sooner or later, through the quieting, soothing influence of liquor, morphine or other drugs.

In brief, the cigarette and rum go together, just as the cigarette and coffee go together. Go to a banquet of the Merchants and Manufacturer’s Association and you will see the process in full blast. Half of those ancient and haggard sinners will be smoking cigarettes and gulping champagne, and the other half will be smoking cigarettes and sipping cafe noir. The magnum and the demitasse–these are the inevitable followers and sycophants of the gehennic coffin nail. It is thus that the Honorary Pallbearers keep up, by the poisoning of their own members, a sufficient supply of subjects for their gruesome art.

But to return to Dr. Hamilton. Thus he describes his practical observations at the Illinois Keeley Institute:

Our experiene here at Dwight, where many hundreds of cigarette caaes have been treated, is that persons applying for treatment for both liquor and cigarettes dread giving up their cigarettes more than they do the liquor. Moreover, those who return to the use of cigarettes in after life are almost certain to resume the use of liquor to allay the irritability on the nervous system produced by smoke inhalation.

In brief, the cigarette is not only the advance agent and chief cause of drunkenness, but it is in itself vastly more insidious and dangerous than drunkenness. And yet the Hon. William H. Anderson, for reasons best known to himself, continues to put the whole blame upon the saloon. What nonsense! How long would the saloon last if there were no cigarette to bring it victims? How long would the Rum Demon survive the murder of his recruiting officer, papa, head greaser and meal ticket?

When the Hon. Barratt O’Hara next visits Baltimore, he will be entertained by a committee consisting of Dr. Donald R. Hooker and the Hon. Bully McCarthy.

Additional list of things denounced by local moralists since January 1, 1909:

Nude puctures. Bathing suits. Town Topics. Kochelbraeu. Co-education. Suffragettes. Cold storage. Free lunch. Summerfield Baldwin. Hackerbraeu. Snuff. Paris. Chloral. Niggeroes. Red-eye. Katzenjammer.

Partial list of things approved by the moralists:

Whiskers. Mayhem. Caffeine. Slander. Press agenting. Wind music. Bogus statistics. Hon. Barratt O’Hara. Tears. Sarsaparilla. Macaroons. Chautauquas. Union suits. Slumming. Peruna. Sobs. Greasing. Halos. Spelling bees. “Ben-Hur.” Blind pigs. Blue laws.