Baltimore Evening Sun (8 February 1913): 6.
The fact that the Hon. Jacobus Hook gave away 62,350 cigars during the year 1912 has aroused the jealousy of the Hon. James Young, and the two are now engaged in a gigantic struggle for the 1913 championship. The Hon. Mr. Young, so I hear, has sent such huge orders to Havana that he is getting 25-cent cigars at 3.33 cents apiece. Meanwhile, Colonel Hook has added 150 hands to the force in his private fabrico at Pinar del Rio, and, in addition, he has bought land for a new factory on Gay street. His expenditure for cigar bands alone will be $1,500 this year, and he will cut down 125 acres of cedar forest to make boxes. His leading brands continue to be the La Cuerda, the El Hofbraeu and the Pride of Old Town. The first named is a demi-blond cigar, cut in Empire style, with a violet band and a high, spicy flavor. The second is a short, squat brunette, with a scarlet bandeau around its equator. The third is a long, rakish smoke with pale, xanthous spots, suggesting flecks of mayonnaise. It is a very powerful cheroot, with fumes strong enough to loosen the scalp, and Colonel Hook reserves it for newspaper reporters, job-seekers and the judiciary.
THE VICE CRUSADE
Segregation and strict regulation of the social evil have worked well in St. Louis. I consider this method of dealing with the problem far preferable to that of closing one’s eyes to the vice and allowing immoral women to scatter over an entire city. Prostitution has existed since the beginning or the world. * * * To make believe that it can be eradicated by scattering the scarlet women is to dodge responsibility.–William Young, Chief of Police, St. Louis.
Des Moines was lately “cleaned up” by a posse of local Pentzes. Testimony of the the chief army surgeon at Fort Des Moines:
The law has not made Des Moines a whit more moral than any other city. It has increased clandestine prostitution, spread the leaven broadcast, increased the incidence of disease, and is a promoter of seduction.
New books that stand out from the mass of current bosh:
“’Twixt Sea and Land,” by Joseph Conrad. “The Confessions of a Fool,” by August Strindberg. “The Stranger at the Gate,” by John G. Neihardt.
Anonymous note signed Alexander Haydn McDannald:
Are you forgetting Fraeulein Sophie at the Hoftheatrekaif? I match her against all of Jacobus’ countesses.
Forgetting her? Not on your life! Sophie is the queen of her craft, the Chaminade of her noble art, the greatest living kellnerin. In a town of ovoid, beefy beer maids, she is tall, slim and willowy. Among hands that seem to be all knuckles, and even knees, she has long white fingers with sea-shell nails. Among complexions of linoleum and bitulithic, she shows the colors of the dew-wet rose. Among chatterers of debased Bayerisch, loathsome to the cultured malleus, she speaks better Hocbdeutsch than Otto Julius Bierbaum. Among flippant, forward seidel-slingers, she carries herself with the grace and dignity of a duchess.
In brief, Frl. Sophie is not only a great technician, a superb kellnerin: she is also a lady. To sit at her table in the Hoftheatrekaif, engulfing legato the exquisite Spatenbraeu that she brings, is an experience never to be forgotten. So I recall my first voyage to tropical seas, my first bereavement in amour, my first meeting with a suffragette. I commend Frl. Sophie to the Hon. Jacobus Hook. She is used to waiting on distinguished men. She makes the serving of a modest mass of Spatenbraeu an impressive ceremony, a memorable event. She makes the bogus countesses of the Hofbraeuhaus and Franziskanerbraeuausschank look like charwomen at Bayview.
The Hon. Max Ways has decided to go to the Concord Club bal masque as the Rev. Dr. Lyman Abbott, and he has let the contract for his whiskers to a leading Charles street florist. The Hon. Robert J. McCuen will appear as Henry VIII.--Adv.
The Concord Club, in preparation for its annual ball, has let contracts for two kegs of beer and 10,000 bales of fire-proof foam.--Adv.
Dr. J. W. Trask, editor of the Public Health Reports, informs me that the publication of scores in the National Typhoid League will be resumed on July 1. During the winter, it appears, most of the clubs disband. But the Orioles keep their cartileges loose by playing daily practice games.
Objection from a fair and waspish reader:
Why do you use “deviltry” in place of “devilry”? There is no such word in good usage.
Perhaps not; but there is undoubtedly such a thing. “Devilry” is a mild and ladylike dissipation: it is regarded as “devilry,” at Coucher College, to go to see “The Old Homestead” or to read the novels of William Dean Howells. But “deviltry,” with the sharp trill at the end, is a sport for grown men. Its greatest virtuoso in Baltimore is the Hon. William H. Anderson, that satanic fellow. He has committed a hundred “deviltries” against the Hon. the super-Mahon, and what is worse, I fear that he will commit more of them in future. “Deviltry” finds in him a pluperfect master. He is its Ysaye, its Pagannini, its Jack Johnson.
Letter from a gentleman now touring the South:
Prohibition in Savannah exists only on paper. Hundreds of saloons are running wide open, advertising “near beer,” which means real beer--and anything stronger one may desire.
Another note from the same gentleman:
South Carolina is supposed to be 85 per cent. dry, but liquor dispensaries are maintained in all the larger towns. Charleston, for example, has six of them. Besides there are about 600 places where liquor, beer and near beer are sold illegally. The proprietor of each pays a fine of $500 every three months.
Respectfully referred to the Hon. William H. Anderson, LL.B.
Is it or is it not a fact that some of the gentlemen who now boss the vice crusade were lately knee-deep in the Emmanuel Movement and the Men and Religion Forward Movement? And is it or is it not a fact that these great movements, after serving their press-agent purpose, are now in the discard?
Minneapolis lately had a highly successful vice crusade. Testimony of the Chief of Police: “They are scattered all over. They are all over town.”