Baltimore Evening Sun (29 January 1913): 6.

THE FREE LANCE

Patients in the old-fashioned ward at Sydenham:

The super-Mahon’s League of Maryland Municipalities. The super-Mahon’s Safe and Sane Charter Commission.


My spies bring me news that the Hon. William Hiller, of the Twenty-third Ward, in conference with the Hon. the super-Mahon yesterday, took occasion to declare the honesty of the City Council. The Hon. Mr. Hiller wastes his wind defending the admitted. No human being, so far as I know, has ever questioned the honesty of the present City Council. To find its match for innocence and artlessness one would have to go to a troupe of trained sealions. And one would have to go the same way to find its match for clownishness.


ADVICE TO MORALISTS.

There is an idea abroad among moral people that they should make their neighbors good. One person I have to make good: myself. But my duty to my neighbor is much more nearly expressed by saying that I have to make him happy—if I may.—Robert Louis Stevenson.

A little table showing how the cost of government has grown in Baltimore in 12 years:

Department.19011913Inc.
Street Clean$380,748$822,658110%
Fire496,1001,124,560126%
Tax Office34,30080,755135%
Parks302,675756,411150%
Health84,907218,415157%
Inspector Bids197,923538,060172%
Elec. Com.193,079527,900173%
Harbor77,430281,359263%
Water348,2003,409,650527%


During this time the total cost of the city government has grown from $8,938,941.96 a year to $23,412,869.41, or 162 per cent. The taxable basis has increased but 97 per cent. The tax rate has increased 10.7 per cent.


Aid and comfort for the anti-vaccinationists from an article by Assistant Surgeon-General John W. Trask, of the Public Health and Marine Hospital Service, in the Public Health Reports for June 23, 1911:

That the community is protected [against smallpox] by vaccination may be true for certain localities, but that the protection thus afforded is general can hardly be maintained. Japan as a nation is probably as well or better protected by vaccination than is the United States, and yet in 1907-8 there was an outbreak of smallpox in Japan in which 10,101 cases were reported, with 6,273 deaths. Vaccination did not there modify the disease to that found in America. In that outbreak, among 5,215 smallpox patients, 1,527 were found who had never been vaccinated. This is interesting as indicating a relatively small number of unvaccinated individuals. * * * If the nonvirulence of the disease in this country is due to protection by vaccination it would be expected that the mild cases would be found only in those so protected. This may be assumed from the limited information available NOT to be the case.

With his Senatorial campaign about to begin and the county newspapers showing a strange reluctance to deal in towelian grease, the Hon. the super-Mahon might do worse than send $1 to Capt. Walter I. Rand, of 276 Tremont street, Boston, Mass., for one of the good capting’s justly famous lucky stones. I have before me a circular describing and certifying to these potent hunks of basalt. They reunite the parted, unearth lost watches, cure sciatica, counteract dog bites and give a man his heart’s desire. But to quote the capting:

These stones are worn and known as the only true Lucky Stone for thousands of years by the high caste people of India, Hindoo, Parsee, Singalese, and others; and are guarded with great care by their owners during their lives, and at death are handed by some member of the family or some dear friend. As you have probably read, I have secured a few of these rare stones while traveling in India, after having become personally convinced of the wonderful influence they exert over persons, and I am disposing of them now among a few personal friends and those who write to me.

The capting presents many testimonials from satisfied, and even enthusiastic clients. For instance, consider this one from the Hon. J. F. Lewis, Box 21. Lucedede, Mass.:

On May 21 I received one of your Lucky Stones and after wearing the same 1 week I found 30 cents. After that I received a letter from a firm offering me a large salary of $21.00 per week and expenses paid. I have also received several severe debts which parties owed me that I never expected to get.

And this one from the Hon. B. C. Mote, of Burts, Ga.:

I received the Lucky Stone you sent me all right. At the same time I received it I made a contract with a party for cord wood, the party to take all that I could handle.

And this from Mrs. M. B. Peters, of 704 Elton street, Brooklyn. N. Y.:

First I found a dollar, now I am out nursing, and when I am finished here I expect to go to another place.

And this from the Hon. Earl Patchin, of Swanton. Neb.:

I. have received $11 from parties that I didn’t expect to get so soon.

And this from the Hon. Eugene L. Warren, of McGraw, N. Y.:

When I touch it it produces a tinge and hot sensation through my fingers and extends all through my body, and nerves. * * * The stone is a powerful magnetic dynamo, which attracts the magnetic forces of all good to itself.

And this from Miss Ethel Harris, of Tunica, Miss.:

My health is much better and I am getting along with my family much better.

And this from the Hon. I. H. Newton, of 209 Academy street, Jersey city. N. J.:

I have a more jovial disposition than what has been the case in months before.

And this from the Hon. Charles C. Johnson, of 74 Franklin street, Boston, Mass.:

Your stone brought me good luck. I was getting $7 a week when I received it. Since then my wages have been raised to $12.

And this from the Hon. J. L. Hoffminster, of Farina, Ill.:

Yours of the 9th inst. containing the Lucky Stone at hand and is very pretty. In the same mail I received a present of a diamond and today I found $10 in currency while burning some trash in the street.

But enough. The capting has proved his case. One of his lucky stones, I haven’t the slightest doubt, would bounce the super-Mahon into the Senate without further ado. If he had had one on July 2, there would have been a different and less melodramatic tale to tell. Meanwhile, who can doubt that Col. Jacobus Hook, that luckiest of men, has a lucky stone somewhere among his treasures? The old Town Bank, in truth, must be paved with them.

If the super-Mahon decides to buy the short term, he will leave the City Hall on March 4,1914. But if he chooses the long term, he will be on until March 4, 1915. Paving Bob is strongly in favor of the long term.