Baltimore Evening Sun (13 November 1912): 6.

The more the moralists tell us about Mlle. Gaby Deslys, the more certain it appears that she will be well worth seeing. As the start I labored under the notion that she was merely one more frail lady of the stage, a bit more dashing than the common, perhaps, but still no great shakes as an immoralist. But a diligent reading of. the Sunpaper’s letter column convinces me that she must be something extraordinary and astounding, a mixture of Lola Montez and Lucretia Borgia, one of the great soiled heroines or history, a marvel not to be missed. And so I have booked a $5 ticket, as in duty bound, and have laid in a high-power telescope.

The last Legislature passed a Compulsory School Attendance Law applying to all of the counties save Howard, Kent, Anne Arundel, Worcester, St. Mary’s and Somerset and it is now in full force. But is it being executed? Let us hear the Hon. B. K. Purdum, Assistant State Superintendent of Education:

• The superintendent in Allegany county reports that the law is not being enforced. * * *
• Calvert reports that the matter will be discussed at a future meeting of their board.
• Caroline reports that the law will be vigorously enforced for a period of five months, beginning October 21.
• Carroll reports that no attempt will be made to enforce the law this year.
• Cecil reports that the School Board considered the matter at a recent meeting and came to no definite conclusion.
• Dorchester reports that no action has been taken, and none will probably be taken this year.
• Charles * * * believes that there will be no attempt to enforce the law. * * *
• Frederick reports that definite action will be taken at a future meeting of the board.
• Harford reports that * * * the question will be considered at the November meeting of the board.
• Montgomery reports that * * * it is impossible for them to * * * enforce the law.
• Prince George’s reports that the law will ne enforced this year.
• Queen Anne’s states that the matter will be considered at the November meeting of the board.
• Talbot has decided to enforce the law from October 1 to April 1.
• Washington reports that the School Board desires to enforce the law, but the County Commissioners oppose it.
• Wicomico reports that the board has decided not to enforce the law.
• Baltimore county has decided to enforce the law.

All this from a report printed in the estimable Maryland Suffrage News. From that report it appears that, of the 16 counties affected by the law, 4 have decided to enforce it, 6 have boldly repudiated and nullified it, and 6 are still undecided, with the chances against enforcement. Such is the reign of law under a republic! Let the band play “The Constitution Trot.”

Standing of the clubs in the National Typhoid League for the week ended October 19:

From the assiduous Hot Towel of this morning:

Mayor Preston announced yesterday that he would shortly appoint a charter commission. * * * City Solicitor Field will prepare a new ordinance covering the Mayor’s ideas within the next week. It is believed that the ordinance will provide for the appointment of 10 men.

Boil your drinking water! Hammer the lingering, senile fly! Don’t miss Gaby!

Proposed appointments to the commission, subject to the old-fashioned primaries:

• The Hon. Paving Bob Padgett (chairman).
• The Hon. Jacobus Hook, K. T.
• The Hon. McCay McCoy, C. E.
• The Hon. Aristophocles Goldsborough, LL. D.
• The Hon. Gil Dailey.
• The Hon. Trauty Trautfelter.
• The Hon. King Bill Garland.
• The Hon. Sonny Mahon.
• The Hon. Frank Kelly de Tenderloin.
• Geheimrat Prof. Dr. John Turner, Jr., K. T.

The unspeakable Democratic Telegram, drunk with the specious success of its foul campaign against the Hon. S. S. Field, LL. D., now adds contumacy to crime by questioning my authority to call it to book. Such has been the habit of all outlaws and anarchists from time immemorial. First they break the law, then they try to save themselves by its quibbles, and then, when the handcuffs snap upon them and retribution stares them in the face, they rage against the judge upon the bench, denouncing him as a boob and a tyrant and defying him to climb down from his pulpit and fight it out on the sidewalk.

But let it pass. I have no hatred of the Democratic Telegram. If I lay upon it the curses of the lex non scripta, it is more in pity than in ire. The one thing that strick in my mind, at the close of this sad, sad business, is the thought of its remorse in days to come. Soon or late it will awaken to a realization of what it has done, or sought to do to Sam, and when that realization dawns it will shake the town with its blubbering and self-accusation, and suffocate Sam himself.

The estimable Hot Towel of this morning, after several months of puny, ineffective fire, drags up its heaviest tallow guns, graphite mortars and Long Toms of oleomargarine, and gives the August Customer a furious and spectacular greasing. The alleged attempt to bribe a plumbing inspector reveals a hellish plot, so it appears, to ruin the Customer, whose chemical purity is thereby established. Again, there is news of a crushing rebuke administered to the Hon. Charles M. Cohn, the gas man, for hinting that old-fashioned jobholders have time to play politics. Yet again, there is an affecting account of the Customer’s plans for a new and perfect charter, embodying all the sapience of that incomparable Mind. And so on and so on.

A field day of greasing. A return to old-time form. The Towel is, by long odds, the most talented and passionate tickler of gills in These States. and so it is a genuine pleasure to see it on the job again, laying on the goose grease, sprinkling the witch hazel, earning the tip. Such genius was not born to blush unseen, nor will it, let us hope, go unrewarded. There are plenty of easy berths in the City Hall. Let needy journalists fill them in their leisure. Let the City treasury give further help to the Towel’s salary list.

Not to be outdone by Gaby, Col. Jacobus Hook is thinking of delivering all future harangues and panegyrics in the translucent costume of the late M. Antonius.--Adv.

Where is Colonel Pabst, with his Baltimore Muenchener? Quick, Colonel, darling, or the Hon. Satan Anderson will have us!--Adv.

Some say the boomers have got so weak in the ankles that they have even stopped passing the hat.