Baltimore Evening Sun (4 September 1912): 6.

From Section III, Article 77, of the City Charter:

The Commissioner of Health shall annually appoint a Vaccine Physician for every ward of the City of Baltimore * * * who shall have a general supervision of the health of his respective ward * * *

From the same article, as amended by the Camorra:

The Mayor, by and with the advice and consent of the Master of the Jobhounds, the Duke of Westport, the Governor-General of the Tenderloin and the ward bosses, shall annually appoint a Vaccine Physician for every ward of the city, etc., etc.

As soon as the baseball season is over Dan Loden will put 20 more cousins to work.--Adv.

The more them stuffers think it over, the more they wonder what was the use.

More prominent New Yorkers in attendance at Havre de Grace:

The Hon. M.M.:

Thus the noble sport of racing brings the chivalry of Manhattan into our midst. No doubt the clergy of Havre de Grace will thank the management in their discourses next Sunday. In Belair, too, there are gentlemen of the cloth who should be heard from.

So many ginks are claiming to be uncles of Dan Loden that he is thinking about putting them through a civil service examination.--Adv.

Score one for the Factory Site Commission! It has induced a Baltimore factory to move to Anne Arundel county.

The Gayety and the Empire are now open and the City Council will soon resume its clowning. So why repine?--Adv.

The remarks and antics of the Hon. Charles Becker’s lawyer, when that great martyr was arraigned in New York yesterday on a charge of murder, gave sure promise that the Becker case will stretch itself out of lovely lengths, and so give refined delight to every connoisseur of juridic jousting, that venerable science. True enough, the learned Goff, J., sitting in the case, showed a bilious hostility to all obfuscation and delay, and even took it upon himself to put the said lawyer down with harsh words. But, after all, Goff, J., is but one judge. Above him are others--mellower, softer, more yielding fellows. They will save the day. They will see that no bold appeal, no daring exception goes unregarded. They will keep the wheels well oiled with glue and corundum.

In These States juridic science reaches its lofttest perfections. It has here the abstruseness of astrology, the inordinate complexity of political economy, the romantic glamor of sociology, the sweetness of calf love. A suit at law is magnificent, transcendental, eternal. It raids and flabbergasts the faculties. It is a debauch of sensations. Our lawyers never say die. Neither side is ever wholly beaten. Even when, by some lamentable mischance, the guilty man is hanged, there are still writs to apply for, bills of exceptions to file, accountings to squabble over, minor points to dispute and complicate. The ideal is perpetual motion. More, it is perpetual repose. The noblest case is not that which never ends, for no respectable and lucrative case ever ends, but that which never even begins.

Further contributions to a thesaurus of American synonyms for physician:

Contributions to a thesaurus of American synonyms for jag:

Further contributions to a thesaurus of supermahonic synonyms for journalist:

The Hon. Charles J. Ogle, in defense of the Single Tax:

The store at the corner of Baltimore and Charles streets rents for many thousands a year simply on account of its location. If the Government took all of that amount in taxation, it would but take from the landlord what the landlord charges the tenant. The landlord could not charge the tenant more, for the presumption is that the tenant pays all he can afford to now.

But what good would the change do the tenant, who would still pay all he could afford to? Perhaps the answer is that he would save in another direction, that he would have no personal taxes to pay, as now. But what would prevent his landlord raising his rent accordingly? And supposing that additional rent to be similarily commandered by the Government, where would be his gain?

What ails the Hot Towel? Not a butt of grease has it broached for two weeks. Can it be that the Customer, hearing the snickering of the town at last, has got sense and cried enough? Let us all hope so. In the long run flattery can do no good to the flattered. No man can yield an eager gill to the tallow and not end as a joke.

Reports from Young Bellais’ roadhouse on the Annapolis road, where Kid Price is training for his coming bout with the Hon. Satan Anderson, continue to be encouraging. The Kid arises every morning at 4.30, takes a 10-mile walk, cools off in Marley crick, and then eats a breakfast consisting of fried beefsteak, sliced tomatoes, lima beans, home-made bread and black coffee. Then he punches the bag until 12.30, when he has dinner. The afternoon is given over to light boxing, the weight machine, political disputation and the works of Bulwer Lytton. At 8.30 the Kid is in bed. Some of the more ardent rubbers at the camp are now offering even money, in quarters and dimes, that Anderson will be on his knees before the end of the tenth round. We shall see! We shall see!

Col. Jacobus Hook has apologized to all the tax bailiffs who were canned in his absence and will give them eloquent letters of recommendation. What more could any man do?--Adv.

Health Commissioner Dan Loden announces that the annual report of his department for 1911 will be ready in a few days. It will show a death rate of 14 per 1,000 per annum, and will be embellished with wood-cuts of the Hon. Woodrow Wilson, the Hon. Jacobus Hook, K. T., the Hon. Alonzo L. Miles and Geheimrat Prof. Dr. John Turner, Jr.--Adv.