Baltimore Evening Sun (13 July 1912): 6.
The following cablegrams sufficiently explain themselves:
Kraus, Burgomaster, Munich: Prepaid.
Colonel hook eminent baltimorean sails Munich august first bespeak reception befitting his geniality and official position letter follows prosit
Mencken.
Mencken, Sun, Baltimore: Collect $6.17
Glad see colonel hook heard of him often arranging public dinner at ratshaus hope will favor us with speech regards dear old macdaanald zum wohl Kraus.
McCAY-McCOY ---- I did not violate the Charter. Five hundred yards at 90 cents a yard is less than $500, isn’t it? And then 500 square yards at 90 cents is less than $500, isn’t it? And then a third 500 yards at 90 cents a yard is less than $500, isn’t it? Where does a violation of the Charter come in?–The Hon. McCay-McCoy.
Them bum reformers keeps on knockin’ Harry for takin’ care of Bob Padgett, but Harry don’t give a darn. A man ought to take care of his friends. Harry ain’t never done nothin’ for Bob but what Bob would have did the same for Harry. All them reformers is sore about to their own friends ain’t got none of them pavin’ jobs. Well, why should they? What have they ever done to deserve anything? All they do to to knock and knock—and then, when Harry puts the rollers under them and comes to the bat with that little trick about no cement bein’ no good without it has been used two years, then all they do is to beller.
The way them reformers talk you would think Bob Padgett was committin’ some crime when he tries to git all the jobs he can. Well, why shouldn’t he git ’em? Somebody has to do the work. Why not Bob? Nobody don’t ever say he don’t lay good cement. All they say is he charges more’n he ought to for it. Well, supposin’ he does? Don’t everybody try to git all he kin for whatever he’s tryin’ to git rid of? Natcherly. And when the customer is easy he tries to make up for the time when the customer ain’t so easy. That’s all they can say ag’inst Bob. His customer is easy jist now because Harry is his friend, and so he lays it on a little to make up for the time when Harry gets canned and some bum reformer is on the job.
Harry ain’t no ingrate. He knows how Bob had to sweat to help him through, and he won’t forget it. And Bob ain’t no ingrate, either. He stuck in the convention darn near until the roof fell in, and he would have stuck longer if there had been anything to stick to. Harry would be a rat if he didn’t do what he could to help Bob’s game along, and Bob would be a rat if he didn’t do what he could for Harry. Them reformers would be better off if they took a lesson from such people. It don’t cost nothing to help a friend, and yet it’s one of the best ways to invent money you ever heerd of.
Bob Padgett don’t hardly know whether the courts is more perfecter than McCay-McCoy, or whether McCay-McCoy is more perfecter than the courts.
Free advtce to the Commissioners for Opening Streets: Stand from under!
Revised roll of the overdue and missing:
- The Greater Baltimore Committee.
- The Maryland Antivivisection Society.
- The Druid Hill Avenue Preston Club.
- Children prefer plain food, and should have them preferably. (Page 285.)
- Odors should not generally be advocated in the sick room; fresh air is the best odor to be found. (Page 280.)
- Fainting is heart inhibition. Inhibition may be inhibited * * * by drinking water. * * * (Page 85.)
For chairman of the Greater Baltimore Committee:
Col. GUSTAV PABST.
Platform: Fatti pianissimo, parole forte.
A subway from the centre of the city to Roland Park is one of the things that Baltimore will soon need. In five or ten years the whole area between Twenty-fifth street and Lake Roland will be built up and the present transportation facilities will begin to show their inadequacy. But two surface routes to that great territory are available. One is by way of the Stony run viaduct and Roland avenue, now used by the old Roland Park cars, and the other is by way of the new boulevard, now occupied by the St. Paul street cars. Charles street, south of the boulevard, is to be kept free of surface cars.
A subway starting at Charles and Baltimore streets and running due northward to the boulevard should cut down the running time from Roland Park to the centre of the city to 12 or 15 minutes. Later on, no doubt, there will have to be a branch running northwestward into the populous territory of Forest Park and beyond. The present running time from Forest Park to the City Hall is from 35 minutes to nearly an hour. A subway should cut it down to 15 minutes.
Unluckily, a subway running due north from Charles and Baltimore streets would cost a lot of money, for it could not be built from the surface, but would have to be driven through the rock like a tunnel. It would run under the Washington monument at a distance of from 40 to 60 feet beneath the surface. Stations at Centre street, Read street, Union Station, North avenue and Twenty-fifth street at once suggest themselves.
Have any capitalists ever looked into the matter? Certainly such a subway would seem to promise quick and adequate profits.
The way them stuffers sweat a body can’t hardly believe it’s all on account of the heat.
Space offered to the F. E. Schneider Paving Company to print a full list of its stockholders:
Thirty-three cheap but sterile cigarros to the Hon. Henry A. McMains, D. O., for the name and address of any educated physician in good standing who belongs to the League for Medical Freedom, Maryland Branch.
More bright thoughts from “The Physiology of the Human Body and Hygiene,” by Geheimrat Prof. Dr. John Turner, Jr., gsneal-arzt to the Loch Raven waterworks: