Baltimore Evening Sun (15 June 1912): 6.

THE FREE LANCE

Come on, Colonel Pabst. Let us see some of your Baltimore Muenchener. The weather warms.

Remark of the Hon. William Barnes, Jr., boss of Albany, N.Y.:

The situation Colonel Roosevelt is creating is simply appalling.

Exactly. But the more appalling a situation is to the Hon. Mr. Barnes the more comforting it is to decent citizens.

Both of the local burlesque houses have closed for the summer and the City Council threatens to adjourn, but with the School Board butchering contumacious professors in one ring and the super-Mahon wrestling with hyenas in the other there remains a lot of refined entertainment for the vulgar.

From the advance sheets of the great harangue of auto-nomination:

Unless large subscriptions are quickly forthcoming, the plan to lure the Hon. William H. Anderson from his allegiance to local option will have to be abandoned. The honorable gentleman’s revenues from his present job are variously reported to be from $6,000 to $10,000 a year. In consequence, it is necessary, in order to win him to the side of liquor, to offer him more. I have suggested $15,000 a year for five years, or $75,000 in all--a modest honorarium for so resourceful and effective a rhetorician. But the kaif-keepers and drinking men of Baltimore, despite their frequent charge that the honorable gentleman is purchasable, have grossly neglected this excellent chance to purchase him, and so the laugh seems to be with the drys. So far but $1,017 has been subscribed, as follows:

Previously acknowledged.....................$1,002.50
A Teetotaler’s Wife.............................. 10.00
Cash...................................................... 3.00
A Highlandtowner................................ 2.50
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Total.....................................................$1.017.00
This sum is now in the custody of the Hon. Jacobus Hook, treasurer of the fund, who will retain it until next Monday. If, by that time, substantial additions are not made, it will be returned to the subscribers.Meanwhile, the Hon. Mr. Anderson earns his $10,000 a year by engaging in incessant hostilities, not only with the Rum Demon himself, but also with that harassed creature’s defenders. The latest to feel his slapstick is the Hon. the super-Mahon, who put rollers under the Local Option bill at the last session of the Legislature. The super-Mahon, who is an accomplished German scholar, comes back at the Hon. Mr. Anderson in Der Deutsche Correspondent, as follows:

Seiner Feinde wegen muss man Ihn achten!

Dieser Ausspruch faellt uns unwillkuerlich ein, wenn wir die Angriffe des Prohibitions Paschas William H. Anderson auf Mayor James H. Preston betrachted. Der sich in Maryland Allgewalt amassende Feind der persoenlichen Freiheit, der seine Macht jetzt auch in der Nationals-Politic fuehlbar machen kann, da er der legislative Superintendent der Temperenz-Gesellschaft der 3,000,000 Mitglieder zaehlenden bishoeflich-methodistschen Kirche und Mitglied der Haupt-Comite’s der “Anti-Saloon-Liga von Amerika” geworden ist, setzt alle Hebel in Bewegung, um auf der demokratischen National-Convention in Baltimore die Nomination des Mayors der Conventionstadt zum Vice-Praesidenten zu verhueten. Er giebt der Welt in einem Rundschreiben kund und so wissen, dass er all prominente Candidaten fuer die demokratische Praesidentschafts-Nominations benaebrichtigt habe, dass Mayor Preston verantwortlich sei fuer die Niederlage der Staats “Local Option” Bill in der letzten Legislatur-Sitzung, and dass derselbe seine Erwaehlung zum Oberhaupt der Stadt Baltimore den Spirituosenhaendlern und dem “Verbrecherthum” zu verdanken habe. Also, die Deutschen, die in der Mayorswahl von 1911 fuer James H. Preston stimmten, gehoeren dem Verbrecherthurn an! Wenn wir den ehrenwerthen Herrn Anderson nicht ziemlich denau als einen Menschen kennten, der nicht in vollem Masse fuer seine Aeusserungen verantwortlich gehalten werdem kann, moechten wir uns fast ueben seine neuste Leistung aufregen.Fearing the snares of paraphrase and accusations of inaccuracy, I translate literally, viz.:

On Account Of His Enemies Must One Him Respect.

This maxim comes us involuntarily to when we the attack of Prohibition—Pasha William H. Anderson upon Mayor James H. Preston consider. The in Maryland presuming to be all-powerful enemy of personal liberty, who his might now also in the national politics perceptible makes, as the legistative superintendent of the temperance association of 3,000,000 members of the Methodist Episcopal Church, and a member of the headquarters committee of the Anti-Saloon League of America, sets all wheels in motion the by the Democratic National Convention in Baltimore nomination of the Mayor of the convention city to the Vice-Presidency to prevent. He gives the world in a circular letter notice and knowledge that he all of the prominent candidates for the Democratic presidential nomination warned has that Mayor Preston responsible is for the defeat of the State Local Option Bill in the last Legislature session, and that the same his election as chief magistrate of the city of Baltimore the liquor dealers and the lawbreaking class to thank has. Therefore, the Germans who in the mayoralty election of 1911 for James W. Preston voted belong to the lawbreaking class! If we the Hon. Mr. Anderson did not a bit intimately as a man know, who not in full measure for his expressions answerable held can be, we’d have a mind to be over his latest performance stirred up.

Obviously, the Hon. Mr. Anderson has got himself into a nasty row with the Germans—of whom I have the honor to be one—that is to say, if he really accused the super-Mahon of being the creature of “Spirituosenhændlern und den Verbrecherthum” exclusively. But I must confess that a fair reading of his original text discloses no such charge. The Hon. Mr. Anderson, true.enough, has often accused the super-Mahon of accepting the help of kaif-keepers and even of flirting with those snide politicians who occupy the ground between the apparently virtuous and the palpably felonious, but he has never argued, so far as I know, that all persons who voted for the super-Mahon are convicts. If he has, I hereby pronounce upon him my curse and anathema, for I voted myself for the super-Mahon.

However, I don’t believe he ever said anything of the sort. The super-Mahon’s hyperbole in his Correspondent article may be ascribed, in the first place, to the natural difficulties of a man composing in a foreign tongue, and in the second place to the natural heat of the man.When pay-as-you-enter car No. 1542 passed The Sun office this morning, at 8.18 o’clock, it was so crowded that seven men stood on the rear platform. On what theory were these men forbidden to smoke? And Harry now enjoys the Towel that once soothed Munyon’s gills!