Baltimore Evening Sun (9 March 1912): 6.

Only 22 days more of rumble-bumble at Annapolis! Then back to the farm–and sweet communion with the horned cattle!

So would you laugh if you had as much to laugh about as what them stuffers has got to laugh about.

The famine among the lobbyists at Annapolis is over! All save three have been sent to their homes, where their friends and relatives will take care of them, and the three have been given hobs in the State House. The money needed to feed and transport the sufferers came in a lump. At 8 o’clock last night the Hon. John J. Mahon approached my Annapolis agent and handed him a check for $500. “Give it,” said the. Hon. Mr. Mallon., “to the boys. I was poor once myself. I feel for them. And put it down to ‘Cash’.” At once my agent ordered a warm meal, consisting of noodle soup, sauerbraten and potato dumplings, for the sufferers, and by 11 o’clock this morning, after a substantial breakfast, all save the three above mentioned were provided with railroad tickets, warm overcasts and rations and sent home.

A few of the lobbyists, when they learned the source of the money, protested against accepting it on the ground that Mr. Mahon had ruined them by monopolizing their business. Some referred to his gift satirically, as a contribution to the conscience fund. But the majority were in such sore need that they could not afford to raise quibbles, and the rest, being weak from starvation and exposure, were easily clubbed into line by my agent. The three provided with places in the State House will serve in the Guard du Corps of Lavoatorians, under command of Col. George Lewis. All took the oath of office at 1 P. M. today.

When Bob Padgett the contractor, meets Bob Padgett, the ex-sheriff, they slap each other on the back so loud you would think they would bust their ribs almost.

Salubrious effect of the Hon. Mahoni Amicus’ devansicklization of the public schools:

No. of children in the schools December 31, 1910.......................67,508
No. of children in the schools December 31, 1911.......................67,011
_______
Decrease............................................................................ 497

Five dollars a day for a roughneck to check hats, but not a darn cent for the Johns Hopkins!

Once more a rumor is in circulation that Marshal Farnan is to be retired–a wish, no doubt, being parent to the thought. The trouble with Tom Farnan is very simple. He is an honest man. He is a good policeman. He enforces the absurd laws of Maryland with discretion and sense. He has made Baltimore, all things considered, the most orderly city in the United States. In consequence, the professional lawbreakers and the professional moralists are all against him.

The more you go rubberin’ around the jails, the more you find out that Murray Vandiver ain’t there.

Convictions for drunkenness in the local option districts of New Zealand before and after the adoption of local option:

under license.
Per 1,000
Year. Convictions. Of population.
1899 5,152 8.4
1891 5,188 8.1
1893 5,043 7.6

under no-license.
1895 4,586 6.6
1897 5,060 7.1
1899 6,194 8.3
1901 8,032 10.3
1903 8,782 10.7
1905 8,725 10.0
1907 10,186 11.1
1909 10,697 11.0

Eight cheap but clean cigars to the Hon. Henry A. McMains, D.O., camerlengo, etc., etc., for, etc., etc., etc.

Boil your drinking water! Watch the Orioles lose the pennant in the National Typhoid League! Get busy for Harry! Send in your dollar to help the starving lobbyists! Cover your garbage can! Swat the fly!

The betting odds in the downtown poolrooms, as the hand-books report them:

200 to 1 that Bob gets his fair share–and then some. 1 to 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 that the ticket is Wilson and Preston.

Nobody don’t pay hardly no attention scarcely to what no grand jury does no more.

Only 22 days more of rumble-bumble at Annapolis! Then back to the farm--and sweet communion with the horned cattle!

Only 11 months and 22 days to March 4, 1913!

At noon today the vote for a spellbinder to place the Hon. the super-Mahon in nomination on the floor of the Democratic National Convention (disregarding all candidates receiving less than 25 votes) stood as follows:

The Hon. Francis Carey.......................................263
The Hon. Bob Lee................................................212
The Hon. Harry S. Cummings.............................197
The Hon. Jacobus Hook......................................152
The Hon. Aristides Sophocles Goldsborough.....151
The Hon. Isidor Rayner.......................................107
The Ron. William H. Anderson........................... 64
The Hon. J. M. T. Finney, M. D. ....................... . 51
The Hon. William Cabell Bruce.......................... 44
The Hon. Stovey Brown....................................... 38
The Hon. Bob Carr .............................................. 27
The Hon. McCay McCoy..................................... 25

The entrance of the Hon. Mr. Cummings once more raises the difficult question, “What is a Democrat?” Hitherto, the honorable gentleman has been ranked as a Republican, but his late alliance with the Hon. the super-Mahon indicates a change of heart. At all events, 197 votes stand to his credit.

Here is the voting coupon, which is to be sent, when filled out and signed, to the Judges of Election, in care of The Evening Sun:

For the distinguished honor of placing the Hon. the super-Mahon in nomination as Democratic candidate for Vice- President of the United States, I vote forbr /> The Hon ..........................................
(Signed)...........................................

This coupon will be printed hereafteron Wednesdays and Saturdays only, o which days the result of the vote will be announced. The poll will close on April 1 and 12 o’clock meridian.