Baltimore Evening Sun (3 February 1912): 6.

THE FREE LANCE

The daily thought from “Also sprach Zarathustra”:

Earth hath a skin and that skin hath diseases. One of those diseases is called man.

From the official newspaper’s account of the vote in the City Wide Congress last night on the ratification of the proposed new charter:

Nearly all of the school teachers present voted in the negative.

A plain case, it would seem, of you tickle me and I’ll tickle you. The super-Mahon helped the teachers as against the pupils, and now the teachers help the super-Mahon as against the people.

From an interview with former Judge Alfred S. Niles:

I do not believe in the present system of police justices. * * * There is always danger * * * that a police justice will be appointed becuase of his ability to carry a primary. * * *

It is unheard of, of course, for a higher judge to be appointed or elected for any such reason!

As I live, here is my old friend McMains again–this time with news that Dr. C. S. Carr, of the League for Medical “Freedom” has thrown up his job as present agent for Peruna! According to McMains, it is a notable and affecting conversion–and one far more real than that of Collier’s Weekly, which once printed patent medicine advertisements for hire and now denounces them. And yet–and yet–is the difference all in favor of Carr? I fear I must doubt it. Collier’s, at all events, is better than it used to be–but has Carr, too, stepped upward? In brief, is the League for Medical “Freedom” better than Peruna? Alas, the educated nostriul answers no!

McMains says that Carr is a “well-known physician of Cincinnati.” The Journal of the American Medical Association says that he “does a mail-order business, selling what he calls ‘tissue remedies.’” McMains says that he is “editor of the Columbus Medical Journal.” The Journal of the American Medical Association says that this is “a pseudo-medical sheet in which some of the worst medical frauds in the country have been advertised.” More differences of opinion. And Once more the educated nostril makes its choice.

Meanwhile, let us await in patience the publication of McMain’s list of indubitable allopaths who belong to the League.

Even if that Harford county court runs amuck and essays to call Murray to book for his peccadilly there will still be time to “amend” and denaturize the law before the case comes to trial.

Discoursing yesterday upon the proposed extension of the suffrage to women, I established amply, by six or seven different breeds of syllogism, that any woman who is forced to lend a hand in the industry of a democracy has a clear right to take part in its legislation also. Let us assume today that this has been proved. But even among persons who admit it freely a number of so-called practical objections to the suffrage are still raised. One of these objections, for example, is based upon the alleged fact that the natural refinement of women would be invaded and tarnished by participation in politics--specifically, that the fellows who go to political meetings and crowd into the polling places are so vulgar that mere contact with them would permanently soil and degrade a lady.

Well, let us look into it. That is to say, let us proceed from the theory to the fact. Make that journey--and the absurdity of the objection at once becomes apparent. For if you have ever been to a large political meeting, you must know very well not only that nothing goes on there that could possibly be obnoxious to a self-respecting woman, but also that many self-respecting women are commonly in attendance, and that they enjoy the proceedings immensely. It would be difficult, indeed, to imagine a more decorous assemblage than a big political meeting, say, at the Lyric. True enough, there is a lot of noise and many lowly ward heelers are in the hall, but that noise is entirely harmless and those ward heelers are in their Sunday clothes and on their good behavior.

The ward meeting, of course, is less refined--particularly the ward meeting which groups and drapes itself around a keg of beer, as most of them do--but even here the ceremonies never descend to the scandalous. A few gentlemen may slip over that dim borderline which separates cold sobriety from golden mellowness, but with so many drinking and so little beer in a keg, it is commonly impossible for more than one or two to proceed to actual tightness, and these pigs are quickly thrown out. As for the rest of the ceremonies, they show vulgarity only in proportion to the general vulgarity of the neighborhood. And that vulgarity, we may safely assume, the women of the neighborhood are able to stand. It would be a harrowing experience, let us admit, for a woman living on Mount Vernon Place to attend a ward meeting on Chestnut street--but ward meetings on Chestnut street are for the voters of Chestnut street, and not for those of Mount Vernon Place.

The essential thing about a ward meeting, in brief, is its accurate reflection, not only of the political thought but also of the civilization and drinking manners of the immediate vicinage. If the neighborhood is uncouth, then the proceedings are uncouth--but the women of the neighborhood, if they were present, would not notice it. The wife of a man who habitually dines in his undershirt is not apt to be disgusted on seeing him drink beer out of his derby hat. Nor will it surprise her to discover that such drinking is followed by a paralysis of his higher cerebral centres and a considerable increase of his enthusiasm for Andrew Jackson. Furthermore, and last of all, the woman voter herself, once she begins going to ward meetings, will tackle the keg as her husband does, and thus she will suffer a benign blunting of her sensibilities.

These same considerations are sufficient to show that the actual act of voting will involve no invasion of a decent woman's self-respect. At the polling place, as at the ward meeting, she will be among her neighbors--the very persons whose habits of body and mind are most familiar and most agreeable to her. If she lives among primitive folk, then she will find primitive folk around the ballot-box; if, on the contrary, she lives among polite folk, then she will find polite folk in line ahead of her. In neither case will she suffer, at the polling place, any psychic experience not already commonplace to her mind. In neither case will she encounter any style of raiment, display of tobacco juice or dialect of English not already established and dignified in her memory by innumerable precedents.

[More Monday.]