Baltimore Evening Sun (4 January 1912): 6.

The grand diploma and gold medal of the League for Medical “Freedom” has been bestowed upon the Baltimore Health Department “for ditinguished services and valuable encouragement.”

The solemn warning of the Right Rev. the super-Mahon:

I think a more dangerous evil than Sunday concerts is to be found in auto rides, novel reading, golf playing, teas.

But job-juggling and wire-pulling, of course, are perfectly moral.

With the City Council and the Legislature both in session, the Baltimore taxpayer will be in the position of that hero of romance who was seized from astern by a hyena while a python was jumping down his throat.

Connoisseurs of balderdash, I suppose, have been giving a glance now and then during the past week to the letters from the Maryland Anti-Vivisection Society appearing in the public letter column of The Evening Sun. Over the chief doctrines laid down in those letters I do not propose to linger--the doctrines, to wit, that it is moral to sophisticate and garble an adversary’s defense, and that the value of such agents as the hydrophobia vaccine and the diphtheria antitoxin is yet to be proved. The last-named displays to the full the limping, one-cylinder reasoning of the anti-vivisectionists, for on the one hand they cry out vociferously against all experiment and on the other hand they protest that no agent shall be used until experiment has proved its value beyond a doubt. And their defense of their unblushing juggling of evidence sets forth very clearly their notion of right and wrong. It may be virtuous, as they argue, to “edit” an adversary’s defense, but if it is, then all I can say is that virtue of that sort is not practiced by the bartenders, literary gentlemen, violoncello players and fugitives from justice with whom I habitually associate. But on this point I pronounce no judgment. I am not a moralist.

To the fictitious medical “authorities,” quoted so often by the local spell-binders of the society, it may be worth while to pay more attention, for innocent laymen, not understanding anti-vivisectionist habits, may sometimes fall into the error of accepting these myths and fanatics as genuine Ehrlichs and Welches. For instance, there is “Dr.” J. S. Harndall, a man constantly brought forward by the anti-vivisectionists as a learned and distinguished foe of vivisection. Well, who is this abyss of knowledge, this mountain of dissent? Believe me, a horse doctor! Veterinary surgeon to the English royal stock! And “Professor” Spooner, another great anti-vivisection mullah, discoverer of the fact that medical experimentation is “sepoyism wearing the mask of art,” is another!

But hold! What of Dr. Arabella Kenealy? Look for her in “Who’s Who?” Here she is: Kenealy, Arabella, L. R. C. P., L. M., author of “A Semi-Detached Marriage,” “The Marriage Yoke,” “Charming Renee,” “His Eligible Grace, the Duke,” and “Some Men Are Such Gentlemen”--famous medical monographs, all of them–all constantly quoted and copiously admired by Dr. Osler--the lifework of the greatest women pathologist alive today. And Dr. W. Gordon-Stables, another anti-vivesectionist Pasteur--what of him? “Who’s Who?” shows that he is the author of “In the Dashing Days of Old” and “The Pirate’s Gold”--two books which every medical student must study and master. And Dr. J. D. Buck--what of him? The modern Hippocrates! Author of “Why I Am a Theosophist” and “The Genius of Freemasonry,” the Mishnah and Gemara of modern therapeutics!

But of all these I have told you before--and of Wilkinson, the ocultist; Oldfield, the fruitarian, andother such dubious and bogus “authorities.” Let us come now to some of the “famous physicians and surgeons” brought forward in place of these exploded bugaboos in the current letters of the local crusaders. For instance, Sir William Fergusson, “sergeant-surgeon to her late Majesty Queen Victoria.” Who was Sir William? An old-time blood letter of the school of 1830--born more than a century ago and dead 35 years--a man who studied medicine in the days before anæsthetics and antiseptics, an “authority” whose opinion is worth scarcely more today than that of the doctors of Moliere. Match him with Dr. Henry J. Bigelow, another eminent witness for the anti-vivisectionists. When was Henry born? Nearly a century ago. When did he die? More than 20 years ago. Where did he gather his horror of vivisection? In the veterinary school at Alfort, France, and in the days before anæsthetics.

Dr. W. R. Hadwen next. The anti-vivisectionists were quoting him with unction yesterday. Who is he? An English provincial physician who dabbles in politics and is now a City Councilman in his home city of Gloucester. Enough for Hadwen. One does not listen seriously to the views of City Councilmen. But Dr. Sir James H. Thornton certainly he must be a larger fish. Let “Who’s Who?” describe him. Born in 1834, he left England in 1856 and spent the next 35 years in India, China, Bhootan and Egypt. Not much chance out there to study. Not much chance to keep in touch with modern. research. And since his return he has lived quietly in Sussex, writing his memoirs and playing cricket. In all his life he has not made a single contribution to medical knowledge.

Dr. Herbert Snow, “consulting surgeon to the National Anti-Vivisection Hospital” in London. What of this famous man? Well, if he is famous then the editor of “Who’s Who?” is an ass, for not a word about him is in that book. Dr. Struish--what of him? Again silence. Dr. Theophilus Parvin? Again silence. The late Dr. Henry Lee? No medical book mentions him. Prof. ------.

But enough of that roll of artificial “authorities.” Here, as in their marshaling of “statistics,” the anti-vivisectionists give their imaginations free rein. Here, as in their oblique and indecent attacks upon honest and useful men, they display a lamentable inability to distinguish between the cold truth and mere wind music.

From an inspired article in the official neck-bender of the Old-Fashioned Administration:

Mayor Preston has been engaged for the last week in making up the list of health wardens.

A certificate, of course, that every one of the twenty-four will be chosen for his professional skill and standing and not at all for his services as ward heeler and bootlicker.

Seven cheap but clean cigars, either perfecto or panetels, to the Hon. Henry A., etc., etc., etc.