Baltimore Evening Sun (30 September 1911): 6.

THE FREE LANCE

In the emission of pious platitudes it seems to be a draw between the Hon. John Walter Smith and the Hon. Frank A. Furst. Why not split the purse and take the boys out of the ring?

Once more Governor Crothers has shown that he is a man. He emerges from the situation with the respect of every Marylander who holds that the good name of the State is above the prosperity of Arthur P. Gorman, or John Walter Smith, or John J. Mahon, or any other professional politician. He has proved anew that he is a man of integrity, of fairness, of intelligence, of dignity, of self-respect. What a pity that we cannot have four years more of him! What a pity that the qualities which do honor to the man are unforgiveable vices in the politician!


GOING UP!


Hayes—Preston
Numsen—Hook
Bruce—Field
Gilman—Biggs
Funney—Chambers
Rosenau—Thanhouser
Remsen—Joesting
Van Sickle—Kock


The chance offers for the First Branch City Council to demand a recount of the May ballots. The chance also offers to wager $10,000 to a cent that it will do nothing of the sort.


The Voice at the People, as the blast from the furnace brings it in:

If I had been them guys I wouldn’t have went so far.

I hope I get drawed on one of them juries.


The astute observer will note with interest the part played by the Hon. James Barry Preston in the current drama. With what courage he has stood forth as the champion of decency! How manfully he has led the fight against scoundrelism! It was his duty, no doubt, as the Chief Magistrate of Baltimore, to resist every invasion of our common rights, to proceed at once against all common rogues, to head the posse comitatus, put himself in the forefront of the fray—but to the discharge of that solemn duty he has brought such unexampled enthusiasm, so virulent and holy a passion, that every good citizen must needs revere him as one who does honor to his high office, to his learned profession and to himself.


From the inaugural address of the Biggsian hero:

Some mistakes will, no doubt, be made.

Was this a prophecy or merely an announcement?

Which recalls the fact that the Hon. J. Albert Hughes is sittinig tight, saying nothing and hoping against hope that rain will come and put out the fire.

The Hon. John Walter Smith, a United States Senator from Maryland, does us the honor of concerning himself in our effort to shake off the banditti who beset us. We must be doubly grateful for Mr. Smith’s courageous aid when we recall how often and with what enthusiasm he had embraced the cause of good government in Baltimore in the past, and when we think upon his high and widespread eminence as a foe of corruption in politics.

If there is any gentleman in the house who still believes that the “errors” of the count were due to “individual inattention,” he may step to the box-office and get a can of sardines.

It is not “individual inattention” that the Hon. J. Albert Hughes will suffer from on election day, but a very particular and individual attention.

Three years 7 months and 17 days more–if the fates are kind to Sonny’s captive balloon.

Another good motto for the Old-Fashioned Administration:

Noscitur ex sociis.

What has become of the Merchants and Manufacturers’ Association? Here the grand jury is filling the papers with scandal and playing hob with “business”—and not a word of protest from the honorary pallbearers!

The Hon. J. Albert Hughes is a vice-president of the Merchants and Manufacturers’ Association—which, as Pepys would say, is pretty to observe.

Let us double the reward. Two cheap but clean cigars to any reputable man who will state publicly, on his word of honor, that he believes Mahon’s bosom friend was actually elected in May.

Some of the season’s new vaudeville songs:

I Just Met the Fellow Who Married the Girl That I Was Going to Get.
Think It Over, Mary.
Haven’t You Forgotten Something, Dearie?
I Was Only a Girl At the Time. I’m Bringing Up the Family.


A few that might be written for local use:

I Wouldn’t Have Did What I Done If I’d Knowed What Was Goin’ to Bust Loose. Ain’t Them Newspapers Awful! Where Is Sonny At?


From the estimable, the insatiable Wegg:

Why waste all of the texts on good Brother Biggs? Are there not others? How will these do for Senator Gorman?
“A man wull of words shall not prosper in the earth.”
“A wise man will hold his tongue till he see opportunity.”
“A mouth that spake very great things.”
“They think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.”
“While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption: for of whom a man is overcome of the same is he not in bondage?”


As a connoisseur of Golden Texts, I do not hesitate to grant that these are not so bad.


Meanwhile, the Hon. “Gil” Dailey prepares to dispense city jobs in the Twenty-third ward.


Perhaps Mr. Hughes may be induced to relieve the tedium of the moment by telling us why he was nominated–that is to say, by telling us his theory as to why he was nominated. To what great public service does he ascribe that mad frenzy to honor him? The opposing aspirant, I believe, was a gentleman named McNulty. Was there any feeling that Hughes was more popular than McNulty, that the plain people howled for him with a louder voice, that the mention of his name would send more thrills down the public vertebra? If so, just who were the persons who harbored that feeling? And upon what evidence was it based?


And in five or six years they will be at it again, and the populace will rise again, and “Sonny” Mahon will be solemnly dethroned again–and the gods in Olympus, a merry mood upon them, will send down to the corner for a can of suds.