Baltimore Evening Sun (11 August 1911): 6.

The lesson for the day is from the thirteenth chapter of the Gospel according to St. Luke, the fourteenth, fifteenth, sixteenth and seventeenth verses.

Wouldst be, O toiler, an astrologer, and get the coin of the true believer? Nothing could be simpler. Just send $10 to the College of Esoteric Sciences and by return mail will come a series of nine lessons. Master those lessons and you will have old Merlin floored. “The study of this science,” says the college prospectus, “gives an understanding of the varying moods, fancies and tendencies of the individual, also how to blend with then different astro-aspects rather than be controlled by them: a knowledge which will be found to be worth many times the price of tuition and the time necessary to learn.”

Thus the New Thought, borrowing the machinery of the correspondence schools, carries its blessing into every hamlet of the land. Not only astrology but also a score of other occult and subtle sciences are to be had in bulk for modest bank notes. The college teaches spiritual theraputics (therapeutics?) for $5 cash; name numbers, whatever they may be, for $6; Biblical symbology for the same sum, and palmistry, that delight of the romantic, for $3. Spiritual theraputics is so easy that it may be mastered in six lessons, and if you don’t want to send the $5 in advance, you may send $2.50 with your application for matriculation and the rest when you receive your third lesson.

Spiritual theraputics, it appears, is based upon the “recognized fact” that “one’s health is directly affected by one’s mental attitude, and as the mentality is subject to and can be controlled by self these lessons instruct how to develop and maintain a mental attitude which will result in a healthy body, a happy mind and success to the individual.” A rival to the Emmanuel Movement, and much simpler and cheaper. No need to sweat for hours in a darkened room. No need to hire a string quartet to play Mendelssohn’s “Spring Song.” Jun make up your mind as to what vou want, and you will straightway have it, whether it be a complexion like Lillian Russell’s or biceps like Jack Johnson’s. And for $5 cash.

Better still, there is psychic healing, which the eminent Professor Gore, of Florida, teaches for the extremely modest sum of $1. If, after you have received his six lessons, you are not willing and even eager to admit that you have got your money’s worth, he will not only return your dollar, but also give you a bonus of 25 cents. Professor Gore’s announcement appears in all of the New Thought journals, but a study of his first lesson convinces me that he is no true New Thoughter. There is, in fact. a lot of heresy in him, for he openly admits that theirs are diseases which the mind cannot heal. Says he:

No system ever devised can cure a man of indigestion--not even God--who persists in swallowing chunks of half-masticated fat pork, and drenching them down with four or five cups of strong black coffee. The man or woman who tells you he or she can heal you under such conditions, deceive you, for they KNOW better. Because they know that God has made Natural Laws, and he who does not respect them MUST suffer--even it only a babe. The child who puts its hand into fire will SURELY get burnt.

Tut, tut! Don’t you believe it! The child may get burnt, but the burn will be purely imaginary, and as an imaginary injury it will quickly yield to an imaginary remedy. The professor himself should be well aware of this, for he testifies that he has cured cancer, epilepsy and diabetes by the psychic power within him. What is cancer? Cancer, according to the New Thought, is a delusion of cancerousness. Remove the delusion and the cancer will evaporate. That is what happened in the case of Mrs. J. E. Ray, of Conifer, Col. She had a cancer that had “baffled the leading specialists of the country,” and yet Professor Gore exercised it in four days by the clock.

But to return to his actual technique. Here is his first lesson to the student:

At any convenient hour lie down with your head toward the North, or sit in an easy position facing the North, and take ten or a dozen deep, long and even inspirations, and exhale slowly, at the same time concentrating on the weak and ailing parts or organs, holding the STEADY INTENTION to send the Sub-Conscious Mind, with ALL your vital forces, into them, to stimulate, rebuild and regenerate them to a Newness of Life.

The effect of this will be to stimulate the flow of secretions “in any organ or part of your body,” and those secretions will do the work. Do you doubt it? The professor has an answer for you--an answer that will floor you. “That you can do this,” he says, “even the small boy who wishes to drown some poor insect (with saliva) or to clean his slate when a sponge or cloth is not handy, KNOWS. There is no ‘guess so’ about it. His supply of saliva is unlimited and equal to ALL his demands and intentions.” What a pity that cows cannot be taught the New Thought!

But the drawing in of wind, the concentration of mind, the summoning-up of the Sub-Conscious--all this must be reinforced by other exercises. After concentrating, relax. Thus:

Let the mind--the Objective Mind--roam around lazily at its own sweet will–fall asleep if you feel an inclination. You must not, however, try to force the mind in any certain channel, or on one certain thought, for to do this is to make you POSITIVE when you should be PASSIVE–or receptive. A positive mind does not receive, but rather sends out, and for the time being is insulated. You should remain in this passive attitude for at least 15 or 20 minutes–an hour if you like.

In other words, the mind is both a servant and a master. On the one hand, it may be whipped up and driven headlong into a cancer--but, on the other hand, it must be handled very gingerly. Obviously, a dangerous thing to have in the head. Imagine it running amuck. Fancy it gobbling, not a cancer or a bunion, but a lung, a leg! No doubt Professor Gore tells the student, in later lessons, how to keep it on the track. Meanwhile, beware of that monster sloshing ’round in your skull!

The way to make the public sympathize with a man is to call him an ass. The way to make the public revere him is to prove it.

From persons who say of the city water that it is all right save for its taste, and from those who say that it is all right save for its looks, and from those who say that it is all right save for its smell--good Lord, deliver us!

Contributed specimens of the American language:

I ain’t seen you none lately. Them things oughtn’t to bother you none.