Baltimore Evening Sun (7 June 1911): 6.

Mayor Preston’s ban upon cobbles came just in time. All Monday afternoon a gang of men labored on Greene Street, between Pratt and Lombard, repairing the wood-block pavement with cobblestones.

The Supreme Court’s second decision in the so-called Patent Medicine case opens a clear way, it appears, for the prosperity of any swindler who chooses to go into the trade of manufacturing bogus nostrums. By the terms of that decision it is now perfectly lawful to call any mixture of borax and water a “sure cure” for cancer or hydrophobia and to sell it as such. The prohibitions of the Pure Food and Drugs act, we are told, apply only to the contents of patent medicines. It is illegal for a manufacturer of soothing syrups to put opium in his decoctions without giving plain warning of that fact, and it is equally illegal for him to say that opium is in them when it is not in them. But if he says that they are certain cures for any disease, however incurable it may be, he is within his rights.

Just how the reverend seigneurs of our Aula Regis arrived at their judgment does not appear, for the Pure Food and Drugs act clearly says that “the term ‘misbranded’ * * * shall apply to all drugs * * * the package or label of which shall bear any statement * * * which shall be false or misleading in any particular.” The italics are supplied by the Journal of the American Medical Association, which marvels upon the mysteries of juridical logic. Certainly the statement that a watery solution of common salt will cure Bright’s disease is “false and misleading,” and yet, by the court’s decision, it is held to be not so.

A lesser tribunal—to wit, the United States Circuit Court for the Eastern District of New York—has lately gone the Supreme Court one better by deciding that a patent medicine manufacturer shall have great latitude in stating the contents of his nostrum. The defendant before it was a man who made a so-called “peroxide cream” in which “the amount of peroxide was so insignificant that it could have no practical therapeutic effect.” Despite this fact, which seems to have been demonstrated beyond a doubt, Vedder, J., decided that any amount of peroxide, however infinitestimal, converted common cream into genuine peroxide cream. In the same way, no doubt 1-100th of a grain of quinine converts a lump of clay into a genuine quinie pill.

These decisions indicate the need for prompt action by Congress. The Pure Food and Drugs act, by requiring the plain labeling of patent medicines containing narcotics, wood alcohol and other poisons, has already sounded the doom of many once-popular tipples and dopes. What is now needed is an amendment that will knock out the fraudulent sure-cure and cure-all. Any man who says that his salve or liniment will cure cancer is an unmitigated liar, for the simple reason that cancer to known to be an incurable disease. Some day, perhaps, it will be cured—maybe in the near future. But not by quack salves.

An amendment putting the sure-cure seller out of business would do no harm to those patent medicines that have genuine value. There are not a few such—remedies which, whatever the dangers attending their ignorant use, are at least efficacious when used intelligently. To that class belong the simpler laxatives, mouth washes, dentifirices, antiseptics, and so on. That these remedies may be misused is scarcely an argument against them. The law cannot undertake to protect the fool who is constantly dosing himself, ignorantly and unnecessarily. No matter what Congress says about it, he will continue to swallow elixirs and pills. But even this silly man should be given some assurance that he is getting what he pays for—that the beautiful pink liquid he buys for his stomachache is really not a furniture polish.

A brief history of the plan to establish a sugar refinery in Baltimore:

1910.

• May 10.–D. C. Woods proposes that a refinery be built.
• July 22.—Executive committee of the Merchants and Manufacturers’ Association meets and decides that $5,000,000 must be raised.
• August 4.—N. M. Parrott, secretary of the Travelers and Merchants’ Association, leaves to inspect refineries in other cities.
• August 5.—Mr. Parrott reports that he is much encouraged.
• August 8.—Mr. Parrott starts on another investigating trip.
• August 17.—Off again.
• September 14.—Mr. Parrott announces that a company is being organized and that a committee has been appointed to look for a site.
• October 6.—Monumental Sugar Refining Company incorporated under the laws of Delaware with a capital of $3,000,000.
• October 7.—Work of soliciting stock subscriptions begins.
• December 23.—Work halted for Christmas holidays.

1911.

• January 21.—Work resumed.
• February 1.—Not many subscriptions are being received.
• February 10.—Capital stock reduced to $1,500,000.
• February 11.—The Evening Sun announces that promoters have abandoned hope of floating the stock in Baltimore and will try New York.

Another boom that aroused much enthusiasm until the time came to pay up. The refinery company, I believe, is still in existence and eager to begin business. The refinery, it is stated by experts, will pay. It is needed. It would give Baltimore a new and important industry. Why not devote some of the boom money to setting it on its feet?

The Voice of the People as overheard on street-car platforms:

• Preston ought to throw them damn newspaper reporters out.
• Why don’t the City Council get busy with the School Board?
• Crothers ain’t got no more chance than I have.

Look out for automobiles! Boil your drinking water! Keep away from the harbor! Elude the tax assessor! Watch the City Hall!

From neighbors who keep barking dogs, cackling chickens, automatic pianos or squalling children—good Lord, deliver us!

Some boom-hound sends in this item of obviously false news:

At a meeting today of the Greater Baltimore Committee’s subcommittee on hospitality $10,000 was set aside for deodorizing the harbor during the sessions of the See America First Convention. A trainload of lilies, roses and carnations and 250 tons of chloride of lime will be dumped into the Back Basin.

More contributions to the pronouncing dictionary of foreign words and phrases adopted into American: